If you’ve noticed lately that your significant other has started to dominate you and you just don’t agree with this “communication method” anymore, read on and discover a few very useful tips on how to deal with a controlling spouse. Dealing with a controlling person is never easy, especially when that person is someone you care about. Yet, you shouldn’t let yourself be blinded by love, because no one deserves to be controlled. If you’ve noticed that your partner has begun to order you like you’re some soldier who needs to follow your commanding officer, if they are always trying to change you into someone that you are not, if they expect you to do everything the way they want and if you don’t, they just freak out, then you should take some action and do something to change their behavior. Just remember: your partner will not learn to respect you until you learn to respect and love yourself first! Here are a few extremely helpful tips on how to deal with a controlling spouse that you should keep in mind if you are trying to solve this problem in your relationship:
1. Notice the Signs of a Controlling Partner
One of the first things you should do if you want to learn how to deal with a controlling spouse is to notice the signs of a controlling partner. If your spouse makes all the choices in your life, even the things you wear or eat, if they get extremely angry every time you make a small mistake, if they criticize you all the time, if they act like they are superior and even if they often embarrass you just to teach you a lesson, then you should really do something to correct this situation in order to save your marriage.
2. Start by Changing Yourself
Remember, you can’t change somebody else no matter how hard you try if they are not willing to change. That’s why you could always start by changing yourself first and maybe the rest will come naturally. Yet, you should be aware of the fact that even if changing yourself may lead to changes in your spouse, this will not make your significant other change. So try to avoid taking responsibility for your partner’s behavior and focus on improving your own.
3. Work Together
If you’ve noticed that lately your spouse is controlling and dominating you, you should have a talk with them. Explain the reasons why you think they are behaving in such a way and ask if they realize that what they are doing is inappropriate and that it might even damage your relationship in the long term. Then hopefully you can start working together in order to solve this issue. Cooperation is extremely important in any relationship, especially when you are trying to solve a problem.
4. Show Them How Their Actions Hurt You
Once you’ve started to work on solving this issue, be honest with your significant other and tell them how their actions are hurting you. Let them know that their behavior is making you feel uncomfortable, sad and even lonely sometimes, that they are diminishing your self-confidence and your self-esteem and that you would like to behave more as a happy couple and not like two people who constantly have something to argue about.
5. Get Help
In order to overcome this problem in your relationship, you could get some professional help. You could try going on marriage workshops, you could go to counseling or even go to group therapy. Do whatever you can to improve your relationship and always keep in mind the feelings you two have for each other. Work together, be honest with each other and try to improve all the things that go wrong in your relationship.
6. Stay Calm
Try to stay calm when you are dealing with a controlling spouse because I’m sure you wouldn’t want to make things escalate. You might end up saying mean things to each other, things that aren’t even true and that will only hurt you and your relationship. Just tell them why you don’t agree with them on certain things, explain them why you feel this way and try to reason with them. It may be a bit difficult at first to remain calm during your arguments, but in time, with a lot of practice, you will learn how to control your temper.
7. Find out Their Reasons for Acting in Such a Way
Before accusing your spouse of being manipulative and controlling, try to find out their reasons for acting in such a way. You will see that most times, they have deeper issues, things that they didn’t even realize they have. Help them solve their problems, be there for them and go through this together as a couple. You’ll be able to overcome all the difficulties in your relationship if you work together and if you have patience.
It’s not easy to deal with a controlling person, especially when that person is one of your loved ones. Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do to overcome those problems in your relationship? Do you know any other useful tips on how to deal with a controlling spouse? What advice do you have for someone who deals with a controlling partner? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!