We all know that getting over a break up is not easy but there are ways to bounce back. The end of a relationship is time to take stock, to turn the page of an old chapter of life, and open a new page of blank space to be filled with your next exciting phase. When one door closes, another opens, and this is a great attitude to take. With that view and these ways to bounce back after a break up, you’ll soon put the hurt of whatshis(her)name behind you.
1. Look after Yourself
Of all the ways to bounce back from a bad break up, there is nothing so good as a bit of self-indulgence and me-focus. Look after yourself, pamper yourself and just take some me time. Go for a pedicure, massage, or have your nails done. Get your hair cut – go wild and chop it all off, color it crazy and give yourself a whole new look! Just be sure that it is what you really, really want and don’t have hair cut remorse 3 days later and blame your hairdresser.
2. Get Away
There is nothing quite like a boost for the soul than a change of scenery with a good bunch of friends. Head out into the country, go down to the seaside and get out of your normal surroundings, switch your phone off, let the sand sink between your toes and the ice melt in your wine and laugh until your sides hurt. There is possibly no better way to get back to being yourself after a bad break up than to spend time with good friends who affirm you when you can’t do it yourself.
3. Get to Acceptance
There are many stages of grief and you will go through them as you have essentially experienced a loss – don’t fight the pain, otherwise you won’t be able to heal. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are the 5 stages of grief and you need to go through each stage to help you face your fears and anxieties. Acceptance is not only one of the ways to recover but you’ll be better, stronger, wiser and more resilient too.
4. Do Something for You
You may have wanted to take up salsa dancing, join a bowls club, go skydiving, join a trail running club, hike through the Himalayas or swim with dolphins. It is time to dust off that bucket list and do something for you now. It might be small like hiking up a mountain or going to a show, but do it for you. DO NOT do something you always wanted to do with your ex! That doesn’t count; do something that will be good for you.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Our inner critic has the tendency to be extremely mean and bully our self when we are down and out, criticising, blaming and being angry. This is the worst time to start beating yourself up emotionally about the break up and making yourself take all the blame for it, when it was both of you that contributed. Think of what you would say and do if your best friend asked you about the best ways to bounce back from her break up – if you are not treating yourself as if you were your own friend, then you are going to hurt more.
6. Don’t Date
If may be very tempting to get right back into the dating game and start dating as soon as you have broken up, but as experience has shown us, this is a very bad idea indeed. In fact, being in such a vulnerable state, you could very well end up falling hard and fast for someone and then hurting them as well when it doesn’t work out and you realize you chose them only as a replacement for your ex. Don’t make someone your rebound buddy when they think they have found the real deal; it’s not fair on either of you.
One of the best (and healthiest) ways to bounce back after a break up is to do some exercise. Not only will you feel great, but you will start looking great, your confidence will increase and you might meet some new friends on the running/tennis/squash circuit. In addition, you will have an outlet for some of your anger, frustration and pain, and this will be the driving force behind you lacing up your running shoes and getting out there into the sunshine. Best combination ever.
The ways to bounce back after a relationship ends take a great deal less effort than maintaining an unhealthy relationship or battling the stress and pain the end can bring. Being kinder to yourself is far better than suffering! Turn the bad into the positive and you’ll be a better you for the whole experience. What do you do when you break up? Do you wallow in self pity or do you find the positives?