Love can be agonizing, especially when it is not reciprocated because it’s often difficult to come to terms with unrequited love. It is one of the patterns that I have come to observe over my lifetime in almost every situation. For some reason one person has feelings for another person, who likes someone else and as if that wasn’t enough, a whole chain of unrequited love begins to form. Everyone becomes infatuated with the wrong person while someone else who has feelings for him or her is left in the dust. This is just the unfortunate truth of the real world. So if you are part of this dysfunctional chain here are 7 ways to come to terms with unrequited love.
Romantic love is usually never reciprocated but it’s neither of the party’s faults. You can’t drink a potion and magically fall for someone; love just doesn’t work that way. So if the person is not capable of returning your feelings, don’t feel betrayed or offended because you can’t force them into a relationship. They might have some feelings for you but they are not strong enough to cross the threshold into the romantic love and they might want to love you but the chemistry is just not there. The best way to come to terms with unrequited love is to let go of the hurt.
One of the first things you can do to make your life easier is accept your situation. You have to understand that as much as you try, you probably won’t be able to change their mind. In some situations persistence is the key, but not in this one, unless it is an exceptional one. Once you come to realize that the feelings that you laid out in the open are not mutual, it is best to take a step back.
Staying close to the person that you know you won’t be able to have is not healthy in any case. For your sake, avoid bumping into that person or hanging out in the same environment. However don’t let anyone know of what you intend to do. Just casually take time for yourself because that is the only way to get over unrequited love.
Some people tend to search for flaws in themselves because they wonder why they are not ‘wanted’. However, getting shut down is not your fault. You might be one of the purest souls to walk this earth but that doesn’t mean that you are not prone to getting rejected. Instead of focussing on your flaws and putting yourself down, just realize that this is not the time to punish yourself.
Dealing with unrequited love is very similar to getting over a break up except that, there was never a relationship. However, those unnerving feelings are still there and the only to get over them is to occupy yourself with other things. Eventually, you have to learn how to enjoy your life without depending on one person. This means hanging out with friends, family and doing things that make you happiest.
Once you have taken time for yourself and dealt with your feelings, it is time to finalize your relationship with the object of your affection. You can either practice unconditional love and remain friends or avoid them at all costs. Whichever one you choose depends on you and your state of mind. If you feel like you can continue the friendship, you can learn to forget how you feel but if that is not something you are comfortable with, distance would be best.
Despite the pain and the misery that love comes with, it can actually be the greatest feeling in the world, especially when you are loved in return and there is an emotional symmetry. So instead of giving up all hope on romantic relationships, look for someone who likes you for you and is not afraid to show it.
Love is very ambiguous; it can make you feel like you can conquer the world but there is also a dark side to it filled with pain, misery and torture. Unrequited love falls under the dark side, bringing you down when you are at your highest. How do you deal with unreciprocated feelings? Share your thoughts in the comments.