Having been the comforter AND the comfortee, I've learned so much about how to comfort a friend going through a breakup. Girls need their friends big-time when going through heartbreak. Friendship is very healing, so step up to the plate in your friend's time of need! Here are 7 ways to comfort a friend going through a breakup.
Listening is one of the best things you can do to comfort a friend going through a breakup. Unless your friend is actively asking you to dish about why her ex was a jerk anyway, or specifically seeks a rant from you, let her do the talking. Sometimes simply getting things out is the best medicine, and she needs the chance to vent. If she asks you for advice, give it! A two-way conversation is definitely in order, but you need to do most of the listening here. Ask questions at key points, nod thoughtfully, and make eye contact to let her know that you're hearing her. She needs to know that her thoughts are being heard.
2. Arrange a Girl's Night in
Dolling up in your LBDs and going out on the town is a blast, but when you're trying to comfort a friend going through a breakup, sometimes a slumber party with stupid chick flicks, facials, and PJ's is just what the love doctor ordered. Try to keep film choices light (Pretty in Pink or Bridesmaids may be better choices than The Notebook), unless she's seeking a tear-jerker. In that case, have your arms ready and some major junk food on hand. A good old fashioned slumber party with lots of laughs and maybe some tears is excellent therapy.
3. Do Something New Together
Has she always wanted to learn how to knit? Maybe she's had her eye on a weekend makeup course. If there's something she's always wanted to do, offer to take it up with her. This will not only provide a distraction from the breakup, but will deepen the bond between you. But if she baulks, back off. This is about her, so you need to respect her situation and take things at her pace.
4. Don't Be a Hookup Hero
Guys are probably the last thing she wants to think about right now, so unless she's asked you to help her set up an online dating profile, stay away from references to that hot friend of your brother's you've always wanted to hook her up with. Now is not the time! Comfort her by nixing your match-making skills for now.
5. Keep Your Relationship Quiet
Of COURSE you want to show your bestie the promise ring he got you, or talk about the dozen roses he sent you. Don't do it yet. Don't hide your happiness, because everyone wants their friends to be happy, but try to hold off on flaunting your relationship until she's had a little more time to heal.
6. Treat Her to Some Retail Therapy
Give her a little gift to cheer her up. Little things go a long way, so if you don't have a surplus of cash, pick up some inexpensive friendship rings or a stuffy of her favourite animal. Just taking her out for ice cream is sure to make her smile, too, even if just for a few brief moments.
7. Remind Her That She's Awesome
Self-esteem can take a hefty hit after a breakup, so she's probably feeling less than amazing right about now. Make a list of the things you love about her, and the qualities that'll make the right guy fall head over heels for her. She may not believe it now, but ask her to read it when she's down. At the very least she'll know she's valued and appreciated.
Friends are an essential part of breakup healing. Have you comforted a friend going through a breakup? Tell me about it!