If you have a crush on someone and you're already married or in a long-term relationship then there are some ways to cope and some things you can do. We always hear stories of relationships falling apart, often because someone has cheated and acted on their desires. But people and relationships are complex, as are our feelings. If you harbour desires for someone but you're already committed, read on to see some of the ways you can cope
1. Avoid Them
One of the ways to cope with a crush if you're already committed is to try and avoid that person. You might be trying hard but they just keep popping up everywhere you go. The key is to not to go out of your way to 'bump' into them and see how you feel as the time passes. Remember, out of sight, out of mind. It's not always easy, especially if you work or study together but there are other strategies you can adopt to help deal with these emotions.
2. It's Only Natural
I know some people might disagree but I do think that it's only natural to find other people attractive, even if you're happily coupled up. You can appreciate beauty in another human being without acting on it. If you are having feelings for someone else, don't feel guilty. Accept that as human beings, we will be attracted to other people. It's what we do with the feelings that count.
3. Don't Beat Yourself up
If you do have a crush on someone else and you're married or in a long term relationship, don't be too hard on yourself. We can't help the way we feel and we're so conditioned to avoid acting on impulse that we chastise ourselves for any thought which is deemed divergent in anyway. Don't let the situation get you down or feel miserable that your relationship is over.
4. Examine the Real Reasons
Think about the reasons you might be thinking about someone other than your partner. It may be that there is something amiss in your current relationship that you're trying to seek in another union. Maybe the spark has gone and you're not physical enough any more or you're not truly seeing the other person for who they are. Try to get the romance back by spending quality time together.
5. Speak to Your Partner about It
This is a tricky one I agree but it might be just what your current relationship needs. How about being honest with your partner and telling them how you truly feel. Maybe you're just going through the motions and you need something to jolt you back into love-land. Perhaps the relationship has actually taken its course. If they understand and they truly love you, then you will be able to work things out and be stronger than you were before.
6. Think of the Consequences
One thing to consider is the guilt you might feel if you do act on your impulses. Imagine how hurt your present partner would be if they found out you had cheated. It can be sobering way of eliminating this crush from your mind! Of course, if you think this other person is the one for you, avoid inflicting pain by finishing the relationship before starting another.
7. Nobody's Perfect
So, you have met a super-cool guy or gal and you think they're just awesome! You think about them more often than you should and you think that they so much more intelligent/sexy/laid back/ambitious than your partner. The truth is, nobody's perfect and it might help to think about their flaws. Your current partner might have a multitude of bad points but believe me, so does this one you're dreaming about!
Has anyone had a crush on someone else whilst being in a relationship? How did you cope with it?