No matter how many times we say friends come before boyfriends, we all have encountered that one friend who is obsessed with her boyfriend. She spends every minute with him, and when she is not with him, she is talking about him or texting him nonstop. It can get pretty annoying real fast and it can have a huge toll on your friendship. While each friendship is different and can be dealt with in different manners, here are some of my personal ways that I have dealt with a friend who is obsessed with her boyfriend.
1. Change Your Perspective
I know it can be very hard to deal with a friend who is obsessed with her boyfriend, but thinking about her point of view could help the situation. Think about how she might be feeling towards her boyfriend. By understanding why she is so intent on spending time with him, you might start to understand and accept her obsession a tad bit more.
2. Give Them Space
It will only make things worse if you, your friend, and her boyfriend are constantly spending time together. It will be a constant reminder of his presence in your friendship. Give them an appropriate amount of space so that they are out of sight and out of mind. This shouldn’t be used as the sole solution to the problem, but it can help ease the tension between you and your friend while you muster up the courage to fix the problem full on.
3. Set Aside Girl Time
It is very important that you and your friend set aside a certain amount of time just for you two. No boy talk, no texting boys, no boy related anything. It is time just for you two to catch up and relax together. Ask for one night a week for just you two, that can’t be too much for your friend to agree to.
4. Use Your Time Wisely
I know it might sound bad, but if your friend insists on spend all of her time with her boyfriend, use that time to better yourself. Read a book, start a new hobby, go out and meet new people. You will be content with improving yourself and your friend will be content with spending time with her boyfriend. It will give you a chance to spend time alone and take your mind off your situation.
5. Tell Her Your Concern
The best thing you can do with a friend who is obsessed with her boyfriend is to voice your concern. Tell her that you think she is spending too much time with him and you miss her. Chances are she did not realize that her relationship was affecting others and she will feel sorry. It might be hard, but voicing your concern is the first step in truly solving your problem.
6. Think about the Timing
Most relationships are usually pretty obsessive during the first few weeks or months. It is called “the honeymoon phase” and it is totally normal. When thinking about your friend’s relationship, take into account how long they have been dating. If they are dying to spend every minute together and have only been together for a few weeks, cut them some slack. But if they are still obsessed with each other and it has been a year, their relationship can be considered unhealthy and it is time to intervene.
7. Give Her a Taste of Her Own Medicine
This might sound harsh, but you can’t be expected to be a great friend when she isn’t. If your friend asks to hang out, maybe tell her you are busy with something. If she realizes how important you are in her life, she will make more of an effort to spend time with you instead of her boyfriend. But if you drop everything for her whenever she has the time, she will never realize that her relationship is interfering with your friendship. Just don’t take it overboard. You are trying to prove a point, not lose a friend.
Losing a friend to a boyfriend is never easy and can be very upsetting. When you have a friend who is obsessed with her boyfriend, if you want to keep that friend, you need to fight for her. What did you think of these ways to deal with a friend who is obsessed with her boyfriend? What other ways would you deal with a boyfriend-obsessed friend? Do you think it is better to intervene or let your friend continue with her obsession?