Learning a few ways to deal with your boyfriend’s female friends can help you eliminate feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Forbidding your boyfriend from having female friends isn’t the answer because he will most likely secretly resent that you are trying to control his friendships. If you are facing this relationship dilemma, I’m going to share 7 ways to deal with your boyfriend's female friends.
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1. Become Allies
A major reason why you are jealous over his female friends is that you fear he will leave you for one of them. One of the ways to deal with your boyfriend’s female friends is to become their ally. To calm these fears, get to know each of them on a one-on-one basis. Invite her to have brunch or dinner with you.
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You can also try to build a friendship with your boyfriend's female friends. Show them that you care about them and that you're not threatened by their presence. Ask questions about their lives, and be open to talking with them. Show them that you're interested in their lives and that you want to get to know them better. This will help to build trust and show your boyfriend that you are supportive of his female friends. It will also help to show your boyfriend that you are not jealous of his female friends and that you are confident in your relationship.
2. Hang out Together
Or if you prefer, you could hang out as a group instead. Invite her to hang out with you, your man and a group of other friends. If she has a significant other, invite him as well. This will give you a chance to see what this girl acts like when she is around your man. If she has ulterior motives, her body language will give it away.
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Hanging out as a group is a great way to get to know someone better. It allows everyone to interact with each other in a more relaxed setting, and can help to identify any potential ulterior motives. By inviting a significant other, it also shows that you respect the relationship between them and your man. It is important to remember that it is natural for people to have friendships with people of the opposite sex, and that it is important to be respectful of these relationships. Having a healthy and open dialogue with your man about his female friends can help to ensure that everyone is comfortable and that the relationship is based on trust.
Frequently asked questions
Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel a bit jealous. It's important to understand why you feel this way and have an open talk with your boyfriend about it.
Trust builds with time and communication. Try sharing your concerns with your boyfriend calmly. Allow him to reassure you and show you through his actions that you can trust him.
It's really important to voice your feelings. Talk to your boyfriend honestly about what bothers you. You both need to figure out a way to manage boundaries that make you feel comfortable.
Try to approach the meeting with an open mind and focus on getting to know them as individuals. It can help ease the tension and maybe even form friendships.
Work on building your self-confidence and trust in your relationship. Having honest conversations with your boyfriend and perhaps even finding reassurance through other friends or a counselor can really help.
3. Give the Friendship a Chance
Whenever you hang out with this girl, just act like yourself rather than a jealous girlfriend. Avoid being cold or rude to her as that will only build tension and negativity, making everyone feel uncomfortable. She might be a cool person that you could bond with so give her a chance. You will also gain points with your boyfriend by accepting his female friends.
4. Dealing with Incoming Texts or Calls
Chances are you instantly become suspicious whenever you see a text message from an unknown female on your boyfriend’s cell. Before you make the worst assumptions, ask for information about this girl. Your boyfriend should tell you facts like the length of time they have been friends, how did they meet, were they ever involved romantically and is she single. He should also be willing to show you a text message from her if you ask.
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It is important to remember that it is normal for your boyfriend to have female friends. While it is perfectly natural to feel a bit jealous or uneasy when you see a text from an unknown female on your boyfriend's phone, try not to jump to conclusions. A good way to handle the situation is to ask your boyfriend for more information about the girl. This may include how long they have been friends, how they met, if they have ever been romantically involved, and if she is single. He should also be willing to show you a text message from her if you ask.
It is important to remember that your boyfriend should respect your feelings. If you are feeling uncomfortable about the situation, he should be willing to talk to you about it and make sure that you are both on the same page. He should also be willing to limit his contact with her if it makes you feel more comfortable.
It is also important to remember that you should trust your boyfriend. If he is honest with you and is willing to talk about the situation openly, then it is likely that he is not doing anything wrong.
5. The Flirty Friend
Another type of female friend that your boyfriend may have is a flirtatious one that actually wants him for herself. This girl is easy to spot because she is the one that is incessantly calling, e-mailing or texting him. She is also known to call late at night while you are in bed together. When dealing with a girl like this, your boyfriend has to set the friendship boundaries. If you try to do it, she will only increase the annoying man-stealing behavior.
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This type of female friend may also try to get physically close to your boyfriend, such as hugging or touching him frequently. She may also try to spend alone time with him, whether it's going out to lunch or hanging out at his place. It's important for your boyfriend to communicate with her that he is in a committed relationship and that her behavior is not appropriate. As the girlfriend, it's important to trust your boyfriend and not let this type of friend cause any insecurities in your relationship. If the flirtatious behavior continues, it may be necessary for your boyfriend to distance himself from this friend to maintain the integrity of your relationship.
6. Discuss It with Your Boyfriend
If it's making you uncomfortable that your boyfriend is friends with this girl, ask yourself why. Is it because you are jealous or insecure about the relationship and just assuming the worst? Or is because you have concrete proof that something fishy is going on between them? If you suspect his female friend has ulterior motives, bring up the issue with your man.
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It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings towards his female friend. It's natural to feel a little uneasy when your significant other has close relationships with people of the opposite sex, but it's important to communicate your concerns in a calm and respectful manner. Ask him about their friendship and try to understand the dynamic between them. If you have specific reasons for feeling uncomfortable, share them with him and listen to his perspective. Remember to trust your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt unless you have solid evidence of any wrongdoing.
7. Stop Worrying
If their friendship appears completely platonic and your boyfriend treats her like one of the guys, stop worrying over her. Although she may be model-hot and have an awesome personality, remember that your boyfriend is committed to you. Unless you see signs of suspicious behavior from him, trust him. It will only make him miserable and strain the relationship if you are constantly fighting over this issue.
Of all the things that you do when dealing with his friends, try not to give ultimatums unless you are seriously prepared to end the relationship. Do you know any other healthy ways to deal with your boyfriend’s female friends?
Comments
ryleigh: my boyfriend has this friend that I think is flirting with him all the time and I'm not sure what I should do she's been his friend for like ever way before I was even in the picture but she is gorg. funny older and is smarter than me. I don't really know how to push my insecurities aside I know I should trust him and I do and I've tried talking to him and he said that he'll stop being so close but I went to her and she told me I was insane that she only cares for him as a friend but she hugs him when Im around and he isn't thinking anything about it. Am I overthinking there friendship
Kaitlynn: What if it's some random person on Facebook that's apparently married? The only reason this bothers me is because my boyfriend told me he didn't want any girls on his Facebook including me and his sisters and mom but yet he's talking to her and possibly others. Apparently it's on a "car" Group. How many girls know a lot about cars. I know it's possible but still...
Roma: My husband has recently reconnected with a woman from his past she is single and went through a 13 year abusive relationship that is why they lost touch not to mention he was interested in dating her back then. At first she was calling and texting all the time even skyping him. I complained she somewhat backed off he often goes to her house without me and stays the night so I went batshit crazy showed up at her house at 2:30 in the morning then three days later cussed her out and threatend to kick her doors in. But they both swear there is nothing going on that it's just a friendship now the woman is terrified of me I would be too in her position . But I realized that it's a trust issue my husband has never lied to me or strayed but I keep not trusting him around women who he swears are friends. Help what do I do now?
Brenda: What if it's an ex? How can I deal with it? Especially when I don't like her and lost respect for her.
Adviceplease: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. He recently started hanging out with this girl, who is very flirtatious, touchy and has strange friend boundaries. She's constantly wanting to hang out with him and texting him at all kinds of hours. I saw how the two of them interact with each other and she is way out of line. My boyfriend says she makes him uncomfortable but he really likes her as a person and friend. He has limited their contact but she's constantly trying to get him alone to hang out with her. I'm worried that he has feelings for her too. What else can I do to put this problem to rest?
Juli: What if it is his ex wife who still depends on him for everything?
Nana: What if he expected me to be friend of his "friend"... If they had sex when we gave a brake of 2 weeks and dated before he met me and I remember at first of our relationship she texted him a lot but he never answered so he had like a lot of texts saying "hello" "hi" "answere""answeeeerreee" . Ugh I just think of it and want to pull her hair to the floor so hard. Plus, we went out with her, so I could met her cuz he said I could have a great time with her and I am sure, she was flirting all the time. Am I wrong? Am I crazy? I don't treat my friends like that... I don't have sex with my friends, I just don't!
Merarri: It depends how long they were together and what kind of feelings remain now. If they have both moved on, there is nothing wrong with being friends with an ex. But its your relationship so the two of you have to figure out the rules that work for both of you!
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