Being single is never easy, thanks to media stereotypes and rom-com movies. Guest contributor Shannon shares her tips on how to be brave and face the world, single and proud!
Let’s face it, being single at an age when everyone seems to be settling down together sucks. At first you were all, like, «I’m not ready to commit to just one person anyway» but then you find yourself attending your fourth wedding this year without a date and suddenly it hits you: «Whyyyy am I still single? Why can’t I find MY soul mate? What’s wrong with ME?» We’ve all been there so don’t fret. Though single, you’re not alone when it comes to the feelings you’re having.
The seven steps below will help you get your head on straight and will be your flight plan when you’re flying solo through the turbulence of Singledom.
1. Don’t Be Desperate
Desperation has a strong stench to it and guys can smell it from a mile away. The harder you try to attach yourself to someone the more you will push them away. Guys like independent girls, the girls who don’t reek of desperation. Do yourself a favour and stop clinging to any guy who gives you a second glance. Make him work for it; you’re more appealing that way.
2. Accept It
Once you accept that you’re single and embrace it you’ll stop caring so much that you ARE single. When you’re at peace with being alone you’ll automatically give off an air of «je ne sais quoi» and you won’t seem so desperate anymore. You’ll subconsciously feel better about yourself when you stop believing that you need a man to make you happy and this will consequently make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
3. Love Yourself
It’s a cliché but it’s true: you need to love yourself before anyone else can. Figure out your demons and what’s holding you back and truly start loving yourself. This is the time in your life where you can grow and blossom on your own. Don’t waste it. Learn who you are when no one else is around. Figure out yourself and your life before bringing someone else into it. The better you know yourself the easier it will be to find someone who is compatible with the REAL you.
4. Don’t Get Defeated
At this point you’ve probably kissed a million frogs and the pond isn’t looking any more promising. Don’t give up. Don’t get defeated. Don’t get down. If you’re having a sad day, let yourself cry but then brush yourself off and know that you’re worth it. Your heart will get broken, your ego will get bruised, and your feelings will get hurt but don’t let all the harshness break your spirit. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are perfect! Stop feeling sorry for yourself ‘cause really, why would any guy want a girl who’s down in the dumps? Dust yourself off and move on.
5. Stop Worrying
If you put half as much time into loving yourself as you do worrying, you'd be much more fabulous! Stop wasting your time thinking about what's next and where your life is headed. It's good to envision the future positively and wonder how it will turn out, but all those sleepless nights spent worrying about when you'll find Mr. Right won't bring him to you any quicker. Let the cards fall as they will and stay patient, he will come the moment you stop wondering WHEN he'll come.
6. Have Faith
When you believe that you deserve good things and that good things are upon your doorstep, they will come to you. Have a little faith in yourself and in the dating process. Put some trust in how awesome you are and if you start to really like someone stay open to the signs that may be pointing you both towards each other. You know those girls who always get the guys they want? Their secret is that they know they can! They have faith that the guy they like will like them back which makes it easier to exude that sexy confidence I’m always talking about. It’s all about believing in yourself.
7. Be Happy with Your Life
A happy woman is an attractive woman so despite how easy it is to feel shitty that you’re the fifth wheel on couples game night again, don’t let it get you down. Be happy with what you do have instead of focusing on what’s missing. Think of how fortunate you are and really appreciate the small things. Life is too short to waste your time wallowing in how miserable you are cause you haven’t found Mr. Right yet. When you focus on loving the good things in your life being single won’t seem to suck so much.
These six things really do work but only if you actually apply them to your life. Just remember, you’re already in a long term relationship with yourself and that is the most important one you’ll ever have. Once you realize that, you’ll never truly be alone. Good luck with those wedding circuits in the meantime, just throw back an extra cocktail and twerk the shit out of that dance floor. Might as well have fun right?