Getting past a breakup is never, ever easy, but there are several ways to get closure that can actually help you move past the breakup a lot faster. Learning the top ways to get closure after a breakup isn't always simple and it is going to seem a little … weird, but they work! For example, writing a letter that you don't send – it's a great way to get all of your feelings out, even if you don't want those feelings to ever be read by anyone but you.
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1. The Un-Sent Letter
The un-sent letter is absolutely one of the best ways to get closure that I know of. For one of my exes, I wrote a letter detailing out everything I felt throughout the course of our relationship. I kept that letter in a box and it felt good to just write exactly what I was feeling. I didn't need my ex to read it, it was enough to know that I wrote it. Try it and see if it works for you!
2. Reflect
Reflecting on the breakup is going to be the best form of closure that you can have. You don't ever want to go through a breakup and not learn something from it. Were you too over-protective? Did you change yourself too much? Did you fall in love too quickly? Remember, reflecting can be painful but it is so worth it.
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3. Reclaim the Memories
Just because you and your partner broke up doesn't mean that you need to stop going to your favorite restaurant or that you need to stop reading books that you two read together. Reclaim those memories for yourself and make new memories. You can't let the breakup win over you.
4. Focus on You
I know it sounds weird, to really just take time for yourself, but do it. Don't let people tell you that it's wrong; instead, just focus in on you and finding yourself. The single you. If you haven't been single for a really long time, it can be hard to recover from your relationship, but it can be done!
5. No Negativity
It is so, so hard to not be negative when you are going through a breakup. You want to diss your ex, you want to talk a lot of crap, but really, focus on the good within yourself. Don't focus on the negative. Don't focus on what your ex is doing or where they are going. Just focus on you and don't be negative at all.
6. Forgiveness
This is another hard one to accept – forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself and forgive your ex. If the relationship was particularly bad, you really need to figure out why it was so bad and what forgiveness you need to be searching for. Remember, it takes time to heal.
7. Change of Scenery
When my ex and I broke up, the very first thing that I did was change everything about the house that we lived in. I painted, I cleaned and for weeks, I spent time and money really giving my house a change. This honestly helped me work through the breakup! Sometimes you just need a change of scenery.
While breaking up is never, ever going to be easy, it is possible to get over it and to gain closure. Do you know of any other ways to gain closure after a breakup?
Comments
prettyyinpink09: @Denise yeah I think I will be much happier without him but he was my world I lived with him and his family and they loved me we lived together for about 8 months now I'm back at my family's house & I'm so sad now I found out he had her number saved as a guys name and he told his friends she is just a friend but he was on the phone with her last night at 2 am for an hour he's telling his friends how she's going to school & she loves to cook which I'm not & I'm a horrible cook
Whitney: Also if you have him on Facebook don't go searching him up to see who he has added and what he has been up to. It is hard but it helps
Adriana: This is really great. I was in an abusive marriage and while we were trying to decide whether to end it I read my husband a long letter and he said "no comment". That answered a lot for me, and just being able to say what I needed brought me a lot closer to closure. I'm not there yet though
Denise: @prettyyinpink09 Ahw, that really sucks :( It doesn't have to mean anything, sure he may want her female perspective on things, but I still think it's pretty shady that he got her number a week before you broke up and you didn't know about this. I know it's hard, I stayed in bed and only ate chocolate for days after we broke up, but you have to pull yourself together! You owe it to yourself, you've been putting him before yourself for years and now it's time to really start listening to yourself. Do you want to be with someone who makes you apologize even when you're right? Do you really want to be with someone who'll leave just like that when things get bumpy? Someone who'll keep things from you, no matter how small they are? Ultimately, do you really think you will be happier with him than without? I think I know the answer :) I hope you'll find peace with your answer soon enough!
Denise: @prettyyinpink09 I'm sorry to hear :( Hope you'll soon find closure one way or another. I'm just starting to realize that I can't fix him.. It's his problem, not mine. He gets scared and pushes me away. I don't even care how much I like him, I feel like I deserve someone who wants to be just as much as I want to be with him. Or who's willing to work on himself because he wants to be with me. You deserve better too, you can't settle for someone who bolts when it gets scary. There is someone out there for us who will give us the world! I'm sure :) Keep your head up!
jemma: Im going through this at the moment :( will put this I to practice
Denise: @prettyyinpink09 So let her cook for him. He'll grow fat and you'll be better off without him. He's an ass for lying and saving her number under a false name. I know it's so hard to see your ex already moving so quickly (mine did too), but that's what guys do. You now have the time to reconnect with yourself: please do so! You are worthy of your own time and you are worthy of a man who'll respect you and love you for who you are. Please try to forget about him. I know it's hard but he is NOT worth your tears.
Tabitha: I was with my ex for almost 4 yrs and he kicked me out 8 months pregnant and left me for a married woman with two kids. She is now getting and divorce and him and her are dating. I wish I could just move on and get over him but its so hard and hurts so bad. The bad thing is I have been still sleeping with him thinking he would realize what he lost but he is still with her :(
kalin: I was w my ex for three and a half years..it was the hardest break up ever i did it bc my family didn't like him & i moved on quick bc i had no choice, but we forgave each other & we are friends now I just hate thinking if I let the wrong one go, but only time will tell;) & he hasn't had a gf since me & he's still in love w me!! He tells me all the time..which it's been 3 years since we split..true love or no?
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