Some of us are very lucky and get along great with our partner’s family while others need a little help, which is why I have come up with a few great ways to get your in-laws to love you. It really shouldn’t be a difficult thing to do, right? Your significant other is crazy about you and that’s all that should matter to them! However, it can take time to win them over, so continue reading for helpful ways to get your in-laws to love you and you’ll have them wrapped around your finger in no time.
One great way to get your in-laws to love you is to show an interest in something they enjoy doing. Ask your father-in-law about his latest fishing excursion or your mother-in-law about the trip she took with her church group. Getting your in-laws to open up about the things that interest them is a great way to break the ice while your significant other is outside playing football with his brother!
Whether your mother-in-law needs help in the kitchen or your father-in-law is trying to figure out how to print a document on the computer, lending a helping hand is something they will appreciate and remember forever. Now, you don’t want to come off as arrogant or pushy, so if your in-laws say no thank you when you ask, don’t insist on helping.
Our in-laws like to feel included, especially if there are grand-children involved. If your in-laws aren’t too old to help out, ask them to baby-sit for a few hours or even overnight if they are up for it. As much as we like to connect with them, they want the chance to feel connected with us. Call them up when you’re not sure how to fix something they are handy with, or ask your mother-in-law to teach you how to knit. Asking them for help will really win them over and give you extra brownie points!
When you show an interest and ask your father-in-law about his fishing trip, tell him that you would love to go with him next time. Get involved in their lives and do something with just your mother-in-law to make it a special day where just the two of you have lunch together or go shopping. Show your in-laws that you want to be in their lives and don’t want to take their child away from them, but give them another child they enjoy doing things with.
If your in-laws have always gone to church as a family on Christmas Eve or celebrate Hanukkah with a big festive meal, compromise so you can include your new traditions while respecting theirs. Holidays can be a hectic time because everyone wants you to come for a visit. Obviously you can’t visit them all on the same day. However, work everyone in so that this year you see your in-laws on Christmas Eve, but next year you visit your family to cut down the fresh tree on the farm.
You may not agree on everything your in-laws say, especially when it comes to how to raise your own children. However, you shouldn’t put down their ideas, just say, “Thank you for your suggestion, I’ll take it into consideration”. By putting down their parenting style it suggests that you believe your partner was raised incorrectly. They may not be perfect and you may not agree with their parenting skills, but this is something to discuss in private with your significant other.
Building a relationship with your in-laws isn’t going to happen overnight, so don’t force it. You shouldn’t feel defeated if your mother-in-law can’t make it to lunch or cancels the shopping trip you had planned together, just reschedule and try again. Be subtle and give it time. If the relationship seems to be at a stand still ask your partner for help.
If you are warm, kind, and gentle, and follow these helpful ways to get your in-laws to love you, then you should have no problem at all! Above all else, just be respectful. How did you get your in-laws to love you?