Have you been talking about getting married, yet aren't quite sure if it's the right thing to do? It's natural to have doubts, given that marriage is a huge commitment. But if there's any doubt in your mind as to whether marriage is the right step for you - whether with your partner or in general - then it's unlikely to be a wise idea at this point. Here are some indications that you might not be ready to get married …
1. You Feel Tied down
One indication that you're not ready for marriage is if you feel tied down. This can be particularly marked if you're still quite young, or you've been with your partner since a young age. If you feel tied down at the mere prospect of getting married, then you're going to feel a whole lot more trapped once you've actually tied the knot …
2. You Wish He Was Different
Do you think that your partner would be perfect if he'd only change a few things about himself? Wishing your partner was different isn't accepting him for who he is, and doesn't bode well for your future together. Marriage is about loving one another even though neither of you are perfect; if you want to mould him into your ideal then you're probably not in love with the real man, just your image of how you'd like him to be.
3. Wanting to Escape
Are you thinking about getting married because you think it offers you an escape route? Or can you foresee a more financially comfortable life if you marry him? The 19th century has long since passed its sell-by date, so don't look to someone else to fund your future.
4. You Feel Pushed
Resist getting married if your partner is trying to persuade you (yes, there are men who love the idea of getting married and women who don't). Ditto if your parents want you to get married but you're not keen. Never let anyone push you into getting married, especially if they're trying emotional blackmail. You should only ever get married if both of you want to build a future together.
5. Contingency Plans
If you catch yourself thinking 'well, if it doesn't work out …' you're definitely not ready to get married. While it's smart to know the legal implications and protect your financial position should the marriage fail, you shouldn't be too focused on the possibility of things not working out.
6. Nagging Doubts
There's a difference between having a few doubts about getting married, and having nagging doubts about whether you are or would be doing the right thing. Listen to your gut feelings; they are rarely wrong. If you have a feeling underneath that you would be making a mistake, you shouldn't agree to marry that person.
7. Feelings of Regrets
If you're regretting agreeing to get married, or have a feeling that you might, it's a major red flag. Marriage isn't something that you should 'try out' or go ahead with if you feel that unsure that you're doing the right thing. It's better to wait than to go ahead and find out the hard way that you did indeed regret it.
Marriage can be wonderful, but it's also hard work and is a major commitment. So you need to be sure that it's right for you - and that you're right for each other. Do you think that marriage is outdated, or can you only see yourself being married?