There are some trustworthy ways to make peace with a hurtful relationship in your life. I know it seems there aren’t but there truly are. I have found some ways to make peace with a hurtful relationship in my own life that I will share with you. All of us come up against people who are difficult and hurtful in their behavior toward us at times. It could be a family member, an in-law, a coworker or even someone that used to be your friend; it really doesn’t matter who it is because these tips can be helpful in each of those situations.
1. Accept It Happened
If something has happened between you and someone you care about or cared about in the past, don’t continue trying to act as if it didn’t. Accept that it did. Allow yourself to grieve over it if you need to. I know I have felt the need to grieve over hurtful relationships in my life. This is one of the best ways to make peace with a hurtful relationship and we all have had them happen to us.
2. Do Your Part
If you can look back at your hurtful relationship and see that you were in the wrong, then do your part and apologize for the wrongs you committed. Usually, there are two sides to every relationship fallout and a lot of times, we are at least partially responsible. Apologizing may not fix things and in fact, probably won’t if the relationship has grown so hurtful between you and the other person. But it will ease your conscience and allow you to know that you have done the right thing, even if the other person doesn’t do their part. You can walk away much easier this way.
3. Don’t Go Deep
Sometimes, the person whom we have had a hurtful relationship with is not someone whom we can cut out of our lives. It may be that it was a family member, coworker or other relationship that you can’t just cut off. If this is the case, you need to know how to deal with them after the relationship has grown hurtful. My experience has taught me it is best to not go deep with these individuals. Choose to keep conversation light and on easygoing topics.
4. Use Distance to Your Advantage
Use distance to your advantage. Sometimes, you can use distance to cut this relationship completely out of your life, like with someone that used to be your friend. There are no ties in that situation. But other times, when you have to continue contact, you have to use distance differently. You can still be distant but only to an extent and that is okay. Figure out what extent that is and use it to help you deal.
5. Extend Grace
You know, we are all hurting people in this world. We have been hurt and we will hurt others, at times. Realize that the person you have a hurtful relationship with is doing the best that they can. They may be acting out of scars that you know nothing about. If you can develop a sense of compassion for them, it can really benefit you here. Pray for them and do your best to forgive them.
6. Use Wisdom
Sometimes we have a hurtful relationship with someone and they want to continue having it just so they can continue hurting us. This is not wise. You need to know when to say when. Be wise about your decisions concerning a person you have a hurtful relationship with. Remember it is your job to take care of yourself; no one else knows what you need better than you do.
7. Find Other Relationships
When you have dealt with a very hurtful relationship it can be tempting to cling to it and stay at that place. But this is not always healthy. Find other relationships in your life that are nurturing, caring and uplifting for you. This does not mean that you don’t still care for the one you have a hurtful relationship with. What it means is that you are making the healthiest decisions that you can for yourself.
Making peace with a hurtful relationship in your life is difficult, no matter who it is. What have you done to reach peace with hurtful relationships in your life? We can all help each other here.