If you’re recently had a bad breakup, I want to first offer my sincerest empathy, and also give you some ways to regain your confidence in the midst of healing. After suffering two major breakups myself, I know how hard it can be and how much it can change you and your life. I’ve learned so much through this type of struggle, and I promise you, you can not only become braver and stronger afterwards, but also learn to love things about yourself you never knew before. Try implementing these incredible ways to regain your confidence after a breakup. They aren’t always easy to incorporate into your life at first, but they are worth it and can make all the difference.
1. Don’t Take All the Blame
First and foremost, one best ways to regain your confidence after a breakup is to stop blaming yourself! Even if you messed up and caused the breakup, two people were still involved. If the breakup truly is permanent, blaming yourself won’t help as much as focusing on what you can learn from the breakup in the meantime. Plus, if the breakup wasn’t your fault, blaming yourself can lead to such an inner emotional mess that takes years to repair. Know that you’re enough just as you are and someone out there who is right for you is waiting to discover you! Confidence starts with your attitude, not what others think of you.
2. Don’t Compare
If your new ex left you for someone, stop comparing yourself to his new-found girlfriend. You can’t change what has happened, and just because he left you for someone doesn’t mean she’s any better than you. Yes, she’s different, but it doesn’t mean she’s better. Don’t compare yourself to her, even if she does look like a real life Barbie! Looks aren't everything and he's sure to find that out sooner or later. Besides, just because she looks a certain way doesn't mean you aren't beautiful and should look the way she does anyway.
3. Look Ahead
To gain confidence, take down the rearview mirror and look out your windshield. Look ahead, not backwards, because you can’t go there anyway. Your destiny and your dream man are waiting on you to let go of your past.
4. Find a New Goal
Think about some things you’d like to do. Take a trip, learn yoga, become an instructor of some type, join a club, start a blog, write a book, take a class of some sort, learn to cook, etc. Any kind of new goal is a great way to improve your confidence. No matter how small it is, this is one of the best tricks I know! It keeps you busy and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
5. Don’t Change Your Hair
Please, please, please don’t go dye or cut your hair right after a breakup. So many girls do this, myself included, and it almost always ends badly. Changing your hair is for some reason the ultimate way women try to boost their confidence after a breakup, but also one of the worst ways to do so.
6. Go Shopping
Instead of changing your appearance, just go shopping! If you’re broke, go try on some new clothes anyway, or visit a thrift store to find some designer clothing there, which is surprisingly like new! If you’re not into shopping, try redecorating your house and finding some new things to go in your home. You’ll enjoy a new outfit or atmosphere, whichever one you choose. Plus, clothes and decorations are permanent, increase your confidence and they are totally interchangeable.
7. Eat Well
Don’t drown your sorrows in ice cream and cookies and expect to boost your confidence. One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to eat well and take care of yourself nutritionally. You’ll feel better mentally and your body will look great the right way! Don’t diet- eat well.
Exercising is another fantastic, healthy way to boost your confidence after a breakup. Not only does it give you an endorphin boost, but it also strengthens your mind and body to help you see just how amazing you are. Often times while you’re exercising, you realize you’re stronger than you know and realize just how awesome you and your body truly are.
9. Start Dating
After some time, start dating again. While you may go through a few duds first, it is a great way to boost your confidence, get yourself out there and show the world how fabulous you are. Just be sure you aren’t rushing into anything or trying to rebound. That only ends badly, trust me!
If you’ve just been through a breakup, what’s something you’re doing to try to increase your confidence? Or, if you have a tip from a past breakup, feel free to share it. We’re all in this together, ladies!