No one to call your own this February 14th? You need some ways to say I love myself this Valentine's Day. You've got to love the one you're with: YOU! After all, you spend all your time with yourself, so it makes sense to love everything about you. Here are 5 great ways to say I love myself this Valentine's Day.
1. Take a Personal Day at Work
Taking a day off is one of the best ways to say I love myself this Valentine's Day. That's right, personal day, call in sick, whatever you have to do to avoid the squeals of delight each time someone receives a delivery, looking at all the generic dozen red rose bouquets and balloons and other sickening, unoriginal displays of affection ordered by their love's secretary. If necessary tell your boss that you can't work today because of the effect all the flowers have on your allergies, and you would appreciate it if none remained when you return the next day.
2. Make Yourself Beautiful
I am not talking a spa day. It will be full of women who either received it as a gift or are preparing for their date that night. I mean have an all out at home beauty day: facial, hair removal, and a mani-pedi. You are allowed to get your hair cut or blown out. People do that every day. You want to look well kept when you return to work tomorrow. Keep the grapevine hot, and if anyone actually has the nerve to ask about your evening, mess with them and feed the rumor mill even more. I love embellishing for nosy people.
3. Make Your Vday Playlist
- Pink, So What!
- Irreplaceable, Beyonce (you must not know 'bout me)
- I Hate Myself for Loving You, Joan Jett
- Rumour Has It, Adele
- The Lazy Song, Bruno Mars
4. Avoid All Social Media
You must abstain. Makes others wonder what you are doing. Let their imaginations run wild.
5. Send Private Invitations
You should do this via hand delivery service, to your very best single friends - the ones you can trust, to a party at your place that night. Requirements: must wear pink or red pajamas, no plus ones, and include on the invitation the secret password for admission (like hooty hoo or High Karate). At the party, serve only bowls of the finest chocolate (buy early) and only red cocktails. Give away goody bags of Motrin, Benadryl, Smart Water and a toothbrush. They will need the first set of goodies in the morning and the toothbrush is in case they vomit at your house first. Play a game of Spin the Bottle, but whomever it lands on must tell an embarrassing secret that would reveal who, if anyone, leaked the details of your secret soiree.
So tomorrow when you are back at work with fabulous hair and nails, but bags under your eyes that show you didn't sleep, the gossips will be all abuzz. If anyone mentions your tragic flower allergy, leave them with this: "Oh, I'm not allergic to roses. I am allergic to the ordinary."