There are many ways to say I love you and to show your love. I recently read a book called "The 5 Love Languages" that broke down several ways that people receive love. Most of us show love to others the way that we need to receive it, but the truth is, you can show your love to a person your way and they may not feel it because they need to be loved differently than you do.
This list of 7 ways to say I love you more will help give you insight into how to effectively express your love in a way it might be received better.
Gifts of love-no matter how small and insignificant they may be- are a great way to let someone know you're thinking of them. If you decide to give a gift as an act of love, try to be as thoughtful as possible. One thing that I do is to pay attention to the things that people say that they want. If you pay attention, people will tell you exactly what they desire without knowing it. I can't tell you how many times I have been in the middle of an everyday conversation with a friend and they will say something like, "Oh, I LOVE this ****__." When you hear that take a mental note (or if you are afraid you will forget, take a literal note) of what it is they want and actually get it. This simple act will show that you are attentive and they will feel loved by you.
2. Quality Time
This is actually many peoples #1 love language, or way that I feel loved. Quality time is exactly what it sounds; it's about spending time with a loved one in a way that focuses on the relationship. Think about the things that your loved one likes to do and offer to do what they love with them. The gift of quality time is a great way to say I love you more because it let's the other person know you value your time together.
3. Physical Touch
Unfortunately, sex can be used in place of genuine love and affection. While physical touch can include sex, it also includes so much more. If your mate is big on PDA or seems touchy-feely, maybe the way that they feel loved the most is through physical touch. You don't have to be under them constantly, but be sure to stop and hug them or give them a kiss randomly when you're together. Yes, even daily. If physical touch is how someone feels most loved, greet them with a warm and genuine hug whenever you see them and use physicality to express your love.
4. Words of Affirmation
Ah, words are so powerful, aren't they ladies? We all love to hear that we look good, smell good, are intelligent and loving from the people that matter the most. But have you noticed that some of your loved ones eat up words of affirmation from everyone? It doesn't matter how many times they hear the affirmation, it never gets old. It may sound like they're "attention whores" but if you know that a simple "You're beautiful" means the world to someone that you love, be sure to affirm them when possible. We aren't responsible for other's self-esteem, but we can be kind and give encouraging words when they are due or needed. Some people need that affirmative reassurance to love properly.
5. Acts of Service
If you are close to someone that seems to be needy, maybe it's really that acts of service is the way that they feel most loved. There are people in my life who will ask me to help them with things that I know they can probably do on their own if they took an extra 5 minutes, but if I am able to assist them, why not? Use wisdom with acts of service because you don't want to be taken advantage of. The next time you hear, "Can you help me with…?" consider saying yes as an expression of love.
When is the last time you stopped to actually think about the people you love? Consider why you love them and what makes them unique? How do they contribute to your relationship? What are your fondest memories of them? I try to be thoughtful with everyone and there's no way to be perfect when it comes to this, but if you can make a conscious decision to think about others it will take you a long way. I try to combine thoughtfulness with my loved one's primary way of feeling loved.
We live in a pretty self-centered culture. We are encouraged to get people to "follow" us. We take countless selfies throughout the week. And while it's fun to be social and share our lives with others, it's good to learn the difference between being social and totally self absorbed. Selflessness doesn't come naturally for most of us but if we can consider others before ourselves our capacity to love deeper is cultivated. Selflessness says, "I will put down what I want and listen to what you need first." Again, we should use wisdom with selflessness because it's not a good thing to be taken advantage of but it's also a good way to say I love you more. Does the conversation always revolve around you and your life?
It's never too late to start loving people the way they need to be loved or to learn new ways to say you love someone. Take some time this week to consider the people you love and how you express love towards them. What ways are they more receptive of?