21 Phenomenal Ways to Stop Constant Fighting in a Relationship ...

1. Don't Bring up the past

This is a huge step that I need to learn. I would say, one of the key ways to stop fighting in a relationship is to stop bringing up the past. The past is the past and the more that you bring it up, the worse the fight can actually be. Bringing up the past can also bring up a lot of old emotions, which is never good.

2. Don't Leave Things Unresolved

I know it's hard and you've probably heard it before, but going to bed angry is not going to solve anything. This can leave you both feeling extremely resentful and actually can make the fight last a lot longer. Why not resolve the fight before bed or at least talk it all out, so that you both can feel better?

3. Learn to Accept Each Other

Everyone in the world has flaws, some of the flaws are things that you've got to deal with, some of the flaws are things that you need to accept. This is where accepting each other for who you are comes in handy. Your boyfriend might never be the guy that brings home flowers and your girlfriend may never be the girl that can't stop nagging, but these are things that you need to learn to accept.

4. Figure out the Root of the Problem

Every fight in the world has a root at the end of it. Once you figure out exactly what the root of the problem is, you'll be able to solve the problem and also solve the fight. It's not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it.

5. Own up to Your Part of the Fight

One of the biggest problems that I have when I'm in a fight is that I get into my own head space – and I don't necessarily own up to my own part of the fight. It's hard to admit that you are wrong and to take the blame. Do it though. It's healthy and it'll make your partner appreciate you!

6. Ban the 'but'

'But if you did this,' 'but if you did that,' eliminate the 'but' from your vocab when you are in a fight and you'll be way better off! I use the 'but' all of the time and truthfully, when I cut it out, the fight doesn't last nearly as long. Just curb your tongue a little!

7. Is This a Repeat Performance?

I know that issues come up, but do you constantly have the same fight? Over and over again? Do you think that could be a sign? If you are constantly having a fight that revolves around a certain thing that your spouse does, why not bring it up to them calmly to stop the fight?

8. Remember What's Important

Finally, you always want to keep in mind that your relationship is very important and that you two are together for a reason. It's hard to keep that in mind when you are fighting, but it's so important.

9. Remember You Could Lose Him

Even if your man has stuck around after dozens of horrible fights with you, he might not do so in the future. The next time you yell at him, remember that it could begin the fight that ends your relationship. If you ask yourself if arguing with him over a specific issue is worth losing him, then you'll get better at choosing when to yell and when to let it slide.

10. See His Side

Even if you don't understand his obsession with football, you need to accept it. So when he refuses to have a serious conversation with you until halftime occurs, look at the situation from his point of view. It could help you cool down and avoid another fight.

11. Don't Insult His Family

Don't yell at him for things that are out of his control. That means that you should never bring up his alcoholic parents and jailbird brother. If you throw random facts into your fight, he'll eventually resent you for it. Stick to the topic at hand when you argue and don't get distracted by yelling out easy insults.

12. Work on Yourself

He can't be the one at fault during every single fight. If you're doing something that bothers him, work on fixing it. You can't expect him to change into someone better while you're putting in zero effort. You both have to try.

13. Control Your Anger

Find a healthy way to release your anger. Take a kickboxing class or go for a run each morning. If you get rid of your pent up energy early in the day, you'll be less likely to fight later on.

14. Attend Couple's Therapy

If you're fighting with your partner constantly, but don't want to end the relationship, you should try couple's therapy. Talking about your problems in a safe environment could be the cure to your constant fighting. If you really love your boyfriend, it's worth a shot.

15. Write What You Love

If you're always yelling at your partner, you must be focusing more on what you hate about him than what you love about him. That's why you should make a list of all of the amazing qualities he has. Looking at what you've written could end a fight before it begins.

16. Spend Time Apart

If you're always together, it's easy to get on each other's nerves. Spend a weekend with your friends in order to get away from him for a bit. The time apart will be healthy, and could make you realize how much you miss him when he's not around.

17. Don't Say Something You Regret

If you're furious with your partner, sometimes the best thing you can do is leave the room. Return in an hour, after you've calmed down a bit, so you can have a rational discussion. It'll be more productive than simply screaming at him until he apologizes.

18. Explain Yourself

If you did something wrong, explain why you did it. Likewise, if your partner was the one who made the mistake, allow him to tell you why. He might have a pretty good explanation that calms you down. That's why you need to hear him out.

19. Ask around

If your friends or parents have been in a long-term relationship, then ask them for some advice. Relationships are hard work, so you need all the help you can get. If you have an issue with jealousy, ask others how they've dealt with it in the past. Their stories might help you out.

20. Think before You Speak

Don't accuse your partner of doing something wrong when you don't know all the facts. If you randomly accuse him of cheating when his mother can vouch for him spending the day with her, you're going to appear untrusting. Before you yell at him, find a good enough reason to do so.

21. End It

If you're unable to stop fighting with your boyfriend, no matter what you try to do, then you have to end the relationship. Being in love doesn't mean that you need to spend the rest of your lives together. If you're happier without him, then you have to end it.

While you might not feel like your relationship is amazing because of the constant fighting, there are tons of ways to stop fighting in your relationship, you just have to work at it. So, are you constantly fighting in your relationship?

This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.