Learning how to tell your boyfriend you cheated is nerve-wrecking. It can make you physically sick just thinking about it, right? You've done the deed though; now it's time to 'fess up, time to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him. Cheating is not good, it can cause a lot of pain, hurt and downright anger. It happens though and if you are guilty of cheating, you've got to figure out the right ways to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him, instead of skirting the issue.
1. Keep Calm
When you are trying to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him, you've got to make sure that you stay calm. This means not getting into hysterics and crying – right away. That can probably come later, but you want to stay calm at first, because truthfully, this is something that you did and you have to own up to it.
2. Don't do It in Public
Never, ever try to defuse the situation or manipulate his response by doing it in public. While his reaction might not be the best in the world, you've got to face it. You've got to make sure to tell your boyfriend you cheated in private. It's a private matter and no matter how he reacts, he has the right to find out in private versus in public.
3. Tell Him in Person
While you don't want to tell him about the situation in a public place, don't take the easy way out and tell him via text, email or social media. There is nothing worse than finding out that you've been cheated on through others!
4. Be Honest
When you are dealing with cheating, you've got to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend. You want to make sure you tell your boyfriend you cheated as honestly as possible. How long ago was it, what night was it, who was it with? These are all questions that he is going to ask about and you want to make sure that you can be honest about them.
5. Be Outright
When you do finally find a way to tell your boyfriend you cheated, be direct and outright. You don't want to beat around the bush and just mention that you have something to talk to him about. You want to make sure that you are totally outright with him. Just tell him that you cheated, spit it out.
6. Have a Plan
As you figure out how to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him, you want to make sure you have a plan. Don't do it after a nice dinner and just before you part ways. Instead, why not just go over to his house, be direct and open and just tell him. Have a plan, but make sure that the plan includes you being forthright.
This step might seem really obvious but when there are a lot of emotions involved, we can easily forget. Apologize to him and let him know that what you did was wrong and that there is no excuse for what you did. Even if there was something lacking in the relationship, going behind his back wasn't the right thing to do.
8. Be Prepared
After you tell your boyfriend you cheated, be prepared to answer some hard questions. He's going to want to know who, what, when, where, how and why you cheated. This will be a tough conversation to have so be prepared to answer all of his questions and listen to him, it's only right.
9. Realize You Hurt Him
Girls, you have to understand that when you are learning how to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him and you finally spit it out, you are going to hurt him. It is just something natural, something that is going to happen. You hurt him. You're going to hurt him and there might not be anything that you can do to make him feel better.
10. Understand He Might Need Time
Girls, another thing that you'll need to understand when you are telling your boyfriend you cheated on him is that he might need time. He might need time away from you, time to separate from you, time that you aren't around. You have to give him it, no matter how hard it is.
11. Give Him Space
Being cheated on is a big deal and it's very unlikely that he'll be able to process and over something like that in a matter of hours or a few days. In addition to giving him time away from you in person, don't contact him for awhile. Constantly calling or texting him to apologize or cry might not be as helpful as it might seem.
12. Leave Friends out
Another thing that might sound like a good idea that might actually backfire is to get your friends involved. Sending your friends to talk to him or asking his friends how to get him back most likely won't help, at least not in the very beginning.
13. Be Understanding
Being cheated on is a horrible thing to go through, so be understanding. Once you've given him some time and you wish to salvage the relationship, talk to him. Be open about your relationship, what might have been lacking and keep the lines of communication open.
I understand that there are circumstances that happen and situations that you might find yourself in, but telling your boyfriend you cheated on him is going to be hard. Very hard. Do you girls have any other ways to tell your boyfriend you cheated that you have used?