All Women's Talk

What Youll Really Feel when You Lose Your Virginity ...

By Lyndsie

Losing your virginity is highly personal and, obviously, it's different for everyone. Every experience is unique, even when it's not – but there are also a few universal truths that most girls and women feel after they have sex for the first time – consensually. They're things you don't necessarily hear about, but they're nevertheless true – maybe not for everybody, and nobody experiences all of them, but you get what I mean, right? Do you recognize any of these feelings?

Table of contents:

  1. You'll feel like everybody knows
  2. But you'll realize it doesn't matter as much to other people
  3. You'll define your own virginity
  4. You'll have some feelings about your hymen
  5. You might feel let down
  6. You might feel disappointed
  7. It's possible you'll decide sex is nothing special
  8. But you might be ready right away
  9. If you weren't safe, you'll regret it
  10. If you were, you'll have fewer worries
  11. You will not be an expert
  12. Things may get awkward
  13. You'll also realize that this person is stuck with you forever
  14. But not your soul or your heart
  15. Porn is not real life
  16. You might wonder if it's always over that quickly
  17. You can define your own first time, too

1 You'll Feel like Everybody Knows

Everybody. You'll feel like you have a big neon sign on your forehead and an arrow pointing at your vagina.

2 But You'll Realize It Doesn't Matter as Much to Other People

Nobody can tell just by looking at you, and although there are some exceptions, most people wouldn't care if they did know.

3 You'll Define Your Own Virginity

How? Well, what does sex mean to you? The traditional definition of virginity is probably what pops into your head, right? The equation probably involves a penis, a vagina, and possibly a hymen, but see, that doesn't really take into consideration how guys feel. Plus, what if you're a lesbian and your first time is with another girl? What if you're a gay guy and your first time is with another boy?

4 You'll Have Some Feelings about Your Hymen

If you have a hymen, that is. It might have caused you some pain or you may not have felt anything. Either one is normal. A little blood is normal, but many women don't bleed the first time they have sex. Basically, there's no normal because just about everything's normal.

5 You Might Feel Let down

For any variety of reasons – it depends on how you viewed your virginity in the first place.

6 You Might Feel Disappointed

Especially if you didn't get off – and a lot of women don't. It is disappointing when you don't achieve an orgasm because orgasms are awesome, but sex is a learning process for all the parties involved. In time, it will get better – but don't be afraid to speak up and tell your partner what you like and what you need.

7 It's Possible You'll Decide Sex is Nothing Special

You might even decide you hate it. That's cool. You'll try again when – and if – you're ready.

8 But You Might Be Ready Right Away

That is also beautiful.

9 If You Weren't Safe, You'll Regret It

Every time. Even if you're both virgins.

10 If You Were, You'll Have Fewer Worries

Not everybody feels anxious about everything – or anything – after their first time, but if you practice safe sex, at least you won't have to worry about your health.

11 You Will Not Be an Expert

You might strut a little, though.

12 Things May Get Awkward

You might feel awkward in general, and things with your partner can feel awkward as well. Even if your partner wasn't someone you're dating or seeing seriously, it can still feel weird.

13 You'll Also Realize That This Person is Stuck with You Forever

In memory, at least. No matter what happens, whether you look back and smile or cringe, your partner's right there.

14 But Not Your Soul or Your Heart

You don't have to be emotionally or physically bound to the person you lose your virginity with. It might happen, but it probably won't, and that's okay.

15 Porn is Not Real Life

In no way, shape, or form. That is never more obvious than after your first time.

16 You Might Wonder if It's Always over That Quickly

If you are a guy or you're with a guy who came quickly, this is definitely a thought. The answer is no, it's not – and hey, it might not happen to you. But if it happens to anyone involved, it's okay. Don't be embarrassed.

17 You Can Define Your Own First Time, Too

Have as many as you want or need. Just as a for instance, I consider my first time with a girl entirely different from my first time with a guy – mainly because I actually got off.

How did you feel – if it's not too personal?

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