Losing your virginity is highly personal and, obviously, it's different for everyone. Every experience is unique, even when it's not – but there are also a few universal truths that most girls and women feel after they have sex for the first time – consensually. They're things you don't necessarily hear about, but they're nevertheless true – maybe not for everybody, and nobody experiences all of them, but you get what I mean, right? Do you recognize any of these feelings?
1 You'll Feel like Everybody Knows
Everybody. You'll feel like you have a big neon sign on your forehead and an arrow pointing at your vagina.
2 But You'll Realize It Doesn't Matter as Much to Other People
Nobody can tell just by looking at you, and although there are some exceptions, most people wouldn't care if they did know.
How? Well, what does sex mean to you? The traditional definition of virginity is probably what pops into your head, right? The equation probably involves a penis, a vagina, and possibly a hymen, but see, that doesn't really take into consideration how guys feel. Plus, what if you're a lesbian and your first time is with another girl? What if you're a gay guy and your first time is with another boy?
4 You'll Have Some Feelings about Your Hymen
If you have a hymen, that is. It might have caused you some pain or you may not have felt anything. Either one is normal. A little blood is normal, but many women don't bleed the first time they have sex. Basically, there's no normal because just about everything's normal.
5 You Might Feel Let down
For any variety of reasons – it depends on how you viewed your virginity in the first place.
6 You Might Feel Disappointed
Especially if you didn't get off – and a lot of women don't. It is disappointing when you don't achieve an orgasm because orgasms are awesome, but sex is a learning process for all the parties involved. In time, it will get better – but don't be afraid to speak up and tell your partner what you like and what you need.
7 It's Possible You'll Decide Sex is Nothing Special
You might even decide you hate it. That's cool. You'll try again when – and if – you're ready.
8 But You Might Be Ready Right Away
That is also beautiful.
9 If You Weren't Safe, You'll Regret It
Every time. Even if you're both virgins.
Disbeliefyes I know from experience I got pregnant the very...
10 If You Were, You'll Have Fewer Worries
Not everybody feels anxious about everything – or anything – after their first time, but if you practice safe sex, at least you won't have to worry about your health.
11 You Will Not Be an Expert
You might strut a little, though.
12 Things May Get Awkward
You might feel awkward in general, and things with your partner can feel awkward as well. Even if your partner wasn't someone you're dating or seeing seriously, it can still feel weird.
13 You'll Also Realize That This Person is Stuck with You Forever
In memory, at least. No matter what happens, whether you look back and smile or cringe, your partner's right there.
14 But Not Your Soul or Your Heart
You don't have to be emotionally or physically bound to the person you lose your virginity with. It might happen, but it probably won't, and that's okay.
15 Porn is Not Real Life
In no way, shape, or form. That is never more obvious than after your first time.
16 You Might Wonder if It's Always over That Quickly
If you are a guy or you're with a guy who came quickly, this is definitely a thought. The answer is no, it's not – and hey, it might not happen to you. But if it happens to anyone involved, it's okay. Don't be embarrassed.
17 You Can Define Your Own First Time, Too
Have as many as you want or need. Just as a for instance, I consider my first time with a girl entirely different from my first time with a guy – mainly because I actually got off.
Disbelief #9 yes I know from experience I got pregnant the very 1st time I ever had sex at 15
Sleepy_Willow692 My first time sucked,we were both 13 and really awkward,too young to even know what we were doing I really wish I waited a bit longer....
Alex4944 Im a virgin and I am very worried about the fact that people say it hurts. My boyfriend and I had tried but it hurt to much so we stopped... im really scared...
PatriciaY Well, it makes me overthink things. Sounds crazy, I know there is no right time to go be away the VCard and not the whole world need to know. I met a guy, sweet, charming but I kinda feel like I want to give it in yet I did not want to regret. I am 31 and as an adult it is just weird to feel what I felt. I met various guy along the way but never met someone let me it, felt connected the first time we met. Too soon? I don't know
Modern I haven't done it yet but it is great to finally know what to expect, my friends made it sound horrible.
Natasha This article was great, it helped me understand what to expect :)
Bree Unfortunately, he was my first everything: date, loss of vCard,...
Bree 💓 your comment Courtney! My first, at 27, was just someone that I wanted to have a relationship with. We were non-traditionally dating. He called it off due to grad school and work (I'm sure that didn't take all 24 hours a day everyday). Three months and now trying to come to terms with whatever it was. Waiting for the real gift from God...
peony Hahaha life eh!
Courtney *p.s., on a more physical note, it did hurt for me, lol. The hymen part of it
Courtney This was a good article. I do regret losing my virginity when I did; I admit it. I am not with the guy now and he was not the one God had set aside for me. I thought i was so in love with him but I realized later he was not worthy of my love. I just wish I would have waited. But I am not "stuck" in that mind frame and beating myself up over it, because I will be given another chance and when I do make the choice to take that step again, i know it will be with the man God has set aside for me. 😊