Heartbreak comes in many forms. We are heartbroken when we lose a job. We are heartbroken when we lose a loved one to sickness or tragedy. Even the loss of a championship in sports or political election can break any heart.
But, what about the difference between a broken heart and a breaking heart when it comes to love? A broken heart is rough. It’s like a natural disaster in your mind and body. Unlike major hurricanes and earthquakes, FEMA never shows up. True heartbreak shows up with no warning. It’s like getting struck by lightning or punched in the face. You’re blindsided… it’s like a car accident. You go into shock. You can’t think straight. You can’t feel anything. You lash out at God and your brand new ex. In an instant, you don’t know if you can ever breathe again… you can’t speak one word, you can only scream, “Why!?” before you burst into tears.
Before the smoke can even clear, you find yourself begging the other person not to leave you… not to end this. You make a fool out of yourself like your mother warned you never to. That is the shock of what they call heartbreak.
Heartbreak is one thing, but what the heck is a breaking heart? This is painful on a whole other level. It is when you are in a bad relationship that won’t end. You are in love, but the other person isn’t. The problem is they won’t break up with you, and you don’t have the strength to break up with them, because you are deeply in love. They are treating you bad like they hate you, but won’t let you go. The other problem is, once in a while, they treat you good. You have become so vulnerable. Sometimes there is physical or mental abuse. Sometimes it’s repeated cheating, or the doing of things to make you feel insecure. This can go on and on forever.
I have to tell you, heartbreak is one thing. But, this slow churning of a breaking heart is another. You become withdrawn. You stop eating. You might even get depressed. A breaking heart can go on for years without intervention.
The sad part is, when people get in a relationship, good or bad, they usually cut off all of their close friends by default. You know, you’re hanging out with your new man and nothing else matters… not even your best friends. But oh, when those tears start to well. When those tears well but never drop. When the slow nature of a breaking heart unfolds, the same God you lashed out at may be the only one that can save you.
Broken heart or breaking heart, they both can be very painful. Love can be like being covered in sweet honey. However, within moments or a life time… it may seem like you are covered with the bees that made the sweet honey. They sting just like heartbreak, and you don’t have enough hands to get them off your mind or heart.
There is a scene in the Spielberg movie ‘Saving Private Ryan,’ where one soldier stabs another in the heart with a knife, but he does it real real slow. It’s really sickening. That is the equivalent of a breaking heart. A “regular heartbreak” is more like getting shot in cold blood. It’s very shocking. It’s very hard, just like is watching someone go through it.
I think Beyoncé’s sister Solange had it right in her song “Cranes in the Sky.” She went through a million different ways on how she tried to get over heartbreak. She tried to pray it away. She tried to drink it away. She tried to work away and dance it away! She even charged up her credit cards and cut off her hair! …Still broken. A broken heart is no joke and won’t easily go away.
Heartbreak and breaking hearts can be very destructive. Unfortunately, they both have been happening since the first relationship when life began, and will probably be there for the last.
When I see people going through heartbreak, I sometimes wish that company Servpro could come in and clean up the mess. They do clean up and restoration after fires and disasters. You have probably seen the commercial and heard the slogan, “Like it never happened.”
Unfortunately, with love it is never that simple. Only time can heal the breaking or broken heart. If you are going through either, I would encourage you to be strong and do not do anything crazy. I know all the advice in the world is moot when it comes to love. You just make sure you are loving yourself more than the person who is breaking your heart.