Years ago, when I was just a freshman in college, I had a very good-looking, smart, nice, beautiful girl-next-door type of girlfriend. I also had a problem. She was holding out the Georgia peach! I wanted sex like a wild animal, or better yet an 18-year-old male with freedom.
Yes, my girlfriend at the time was adamant about waiting to have sex. It drove me nuts, but I respected that. However, as time went on, I started to stray. I didn’t actually sleep with anyone else, but I was definitely on the hunt. After about eight months, we broke up.
Fast forward one year later, we started talking again. Then she began to confess. She told me she had slept with one of the biggest star athletes at the time while we were apart. I was like, “What! You gave it away!” I went berserk, blue-ball memories, and all.
Then she stopped me. I was calmly freaking out like, “why?” That’s when she said, “It was just something I wanted to do.” Ok fine, he was famous and an athlete, but still lol.
I was shocked at the time, but did I really have a right to be? It wasn’t until recently, that I found myself actually blown away by what she said; in a good way, of course. What a powerful statement! “It was just something she wanted to do,” whoa!
If you have been following the news lately, you may have seen a story about Monica Lewinski walking off stage in the middle of an interview because the host asked her about her past affair with Former President Bill Clinton, while he was still in office. For those whippersnappers who don’t know, she was a White House intern in her mid-twenties and Bill Clinton was in his late forties. Obviously, he was married to Hillary Clinton at the time. Bill lied about the affair under oath and subsequently got impeached. That was back in the 1990s. It was a big deal back then.
When reflecting on my ex-girlfriend’s statement about it being “just being something she wanted to do,” I wondered if Ms. Lewinski had the same attitude. I’m not gay, but Clinton was this young handsome, charismatic president and he was down for whatever! Raise your hand if you would have done what Monica did. Keep your hand down if it crossed your mind. We won’t tell.
Is it just something Monica wanted to do? Is there a double standard? Should women be the only gender to bear the brunt of restraint? Years ago, this lady told me women want it just as bad as men do and I believe it. The difference is, men just hump everything in sight, and nobody says anything. Women have one orgasm and they are called the “s” word and “w” word in the same breath.
What about Nicki Minaj’s latest statement? According to People magazine, she said she expects sex three times a night from whomever she is with. That’s fine if that’s what she wants. However, is society OK with her saying that publicly? Why is it news then?
What about when comedian Amy Schumer spoke back in 2015? She said, “I’m 160 pounds and I can catch a d**k whenever I want.” She said that publicly mind you. This is definitely not the 1950s, but you have to ask… what if she were not a comedian? Do women have that level of freedom outside Hollywood?
Female rappers have been leading the way with their own brand of wide open sex talk. In the mid-to-late 80s you had pioneering artists like Salt-N-Pepa. Remember the song “Push it?” They play it at every wedding like it’s nothing these days! Deep into the 90s, you had raunchy rappers like Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown. Now you got Nikki Minaj, Cardi B, and everyone in-between… legs included lol.
The big and small screens have also given voice to women’s blunt yet honest desires in the last 20 years or so. You had shows like Sex and the City, Girlfriends, Being Mary Jane, and movies like Girls Trip. ABC’s hit show Scandal featured a woman having a long-term affair with the President. She was a “fixer.” She was helping people cheat death while doing her own cheating. People were calling her character a trailblazer for women. What?
Who am I to judge? What about that girlfriend I mentioned earlier? While I was expecting her to stay pure and holy, I was out there barking and acting like a dog in heat off of its leash. She was being honest with me. She was being honest with herself.
I can’t help but wonder if this double standard thing is something that maybe we need, like it or not. In some respects, maybe it has kept society from spiraling out of control. It seems to have kept some level of stability and decency in the world. But at what cost? Do women have to be the ones to carry the weight of seeming like they are saving themselves? Is there still something weird when a woman buys condoms as opposed to a man? Should we be OK with Kim Kardashian’s booty tape? What are the “who has a right to be horny” rules when it comes to gay people?
Alas, so many questions! If somebody has something to say about you getting your back twisted once in a while, tell them, “It was just something I wanted to do.”
Always remember to practice safe sex especially when it’s hard. “Fun” intended!
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