You never want to hurt her, so finding gentle ways to tell your friend her boyfriend is cheating can be difficult at best. I've been in this situation and I struggled to find the right way to do it. While you might want to just avoid the conversation, she needs to know. She might not believe you at first, but finding the right ways to tell your friend her boyfriend is cheating will save her from wasting time in a bad relationship.
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1. Be Honest
Beating around the bush simply draws it out. One of the best ways to tell your friend her boyfriend is cheating is to just say it. Make sure the two of you are alone so she can react without feeling embarrassed. Don't call the guy names or try to make it worse in any way. Be honest and keep the statement simple. Your friend will feel bad enough. Embellishing or acting angry yourself will not make it better.
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Beating around the bush simply draws it out. One of the best ways to tell your friend her boyfriend is cheating is to just say it. Make sure the two of you are alone so she can react without feeling embarrassed. Don't call the guy names or try to make it worse in any way. Be honest and keep the statement simple. Your friend will feel bad enough. Embellishing or acting angry yourself will not make it better. Listen to her feelings, validate her emotions, and offer your support without judgment. Sometimes, being a silent pillar can mean more than any words.
2. Provide Proof
It's hard to break the news gently. Breaking it without proof sometimes makes your friend feel like you're just trying to hurt her. If possible, get proof first. Take a picture of him with another girl. Get the other girl to confess to you. Providing proof after telling her will calm her anger towards you and help her see the truth. It also stops any doubts she might have.
Frequently asked questions
It's never easy, but try to have a private conversation where you're calm and understanding. Maybe start by expressing your care for her and sharing the information you have with kindness.
That's a tough call! Consider your friend's personality and the strength of your friendship. If she deserves to know and you truly care, it might be worth it to share what you've discovered.
You don't want to jump to conclusions. Maybe gather more details or talk to someone you trust about your concerns first. If possible, share what you're certain of, and let her decide what to do next.
It's almost impossible not to cause some pain. Focus on being supportive and ready to help her work through her feelings. Offer your loyalty and your ear.
She might be upset at first, but remember, you're doing this because you care. Give her space if she needs it, and be ready to support her when she's ready. True friendships withstand tough times.
3. Ask if She's Noticed Anything
If you don't have proof, try to get your friend to figure it out herself. Cheaters often show signs. Ask your friend if she's noticed her boyfriend acting differently. While she might not have thought about it before, she'll likely start telling you about all the strange things he's been doing. Once she starts to put the pieces together, tell her what you saw. The combination is usually easier for your friend to handle.
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Bring up potential red flags by suggesting a casual reflection on their relationship. Have there been any unexplained cancellations or sudden evasions when making plans? Perhaps there are new habits or inexplicable expenses. It's pivotal that she recognizes these changes voluntarily, which may make her more receptive to uneasy truths. Support her by emphasizing that you're there for her and her feelings are valid. This way, she can connect the dots herself without feeling defensive or blind-sided.
4. Talk to the Boyfriend
If the guy has a conscience at all, let him be the one to tell her. However, you'll likely have to start the conversation. Talk to the boyfriend and confront him about what you saw. Explain that he needs to tell your friend what happened. Tell him you will tell her if he doesn't. If he cares about her at all, he just might man up and tell her himself. Just be ready to carry out your threat if he doesn't.
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Approach the conversation with the boyfriend delicately, yet firmly. Stress the importance of honesty in a relationship and the potential hurt she will face if the truth comes from someone other than him. Remind him that integrity and respect should guide his actions, and while confessing won't be easy, it's the right thing to do. But also be clear – if he doesn't step forward, you will protect your friend's right to know. It's not just about giving him an ultimatum, it's about advocating for your friend's well-being.
5. Show Her
If you notice the boyfriend with the same person at the same place several times, make plans with your friend so that the four of you bump into each other. Casually bring up the fact that you saw the two of them here before. Your friend will see what's going on first hand. You'll be there to help her deal. This prevents any doubt and is a little more gentle than just telling her.
6. Send an Anonymous Message
No one wants to make their friend cry or risk losing them. If you're afraid of how your friend will take the news, the anonymous approach might be the gentlest. Start by leaving a detailed note about what you saw somewhere she'll find it. A locker, her room, on her windshield or even as a text from a blocked number. If you have a photo or video, send that anonymously too.
7. Let Her Know It Hurts You
Sometimes if we don't like the boyfriend, we tend to sound excited when we get to tell her he's cheating. It'll be more gentle and more believable if you start the conversation by telling her that the news you have hurts you too. Explain that her happiness is important to you and it hurts you to have to tell her this. Be sincere and it will make the news easier to handle.
It's never easy to tell a friend their boyfriend is a cheater. Sometimes they blame you and refuse to believe you, but most of the time they appreciate you telling them. Be as gentle as possible to avoid making the situation any harder than it already is. Would you tell your friend her boyfriend cheated?
Comments
Arantxa: If someone hurts my friends first of all I would send them to the hospital
Mimi: When I tried telling my best friend about her bf cheating on her, the first thing she told me was that she wasn't stupid, she didn't want to know and lastly she told me that people need to mind their own businesses. So there you have! I believe must women although suspicious of their mate cheating rather turn a blind eye and then play the victim.
Megan: I probably wouldn't say anything because even if she does find out the truth, she might forgive him & they'll get back together-which would be awkward for you.
Erica: A good friend would get right to the point and say he's cheating if u have to use 7 steps they either need to grow up or they aren't a good friend of yours bs article
Olivia: Be anonymous??? Sounds like Pretty Little Liars....
peony: Dont say a word,she probably knows🔥
currraline: My bestfriend and I dealt with my cheating ex together. First we cried together, then we both cussed him out over the phone, and I survived that and my best guy friend dying all on the same day. Things get better :)
Danijela: I think this is a good article as I've had to break news to a best friend myself and the 'straight to the point' approach works... My friend got upset but she appreciated tht I'd had the decency to tell her... I also had to break the news to my own sister after her ex partner tried to hook up with me!!! I have also been the victim of a cheating boyfriend and my best friends were very supportive- they invited me over for a few drinks and told me with proof... :) so yes this article is good - I like it :)
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