There are a few questions you should never ask your partner if you want to increase the intimacy and improve the communication in your relationship. The key to a happier and more satisfying relationship is actually knowing when to ask the right questions and when to avoid the ones that can only cause you misery, since none of them can be answered acceptably. Communication with your partner can sometimes be a tricky business and even if you might have the best intentions, how you choose to say what’s on your mind can actually cause quite a few problems in your relationship. Here are a few questions you should never ask your partner, since there’s no good that can come from asking any of the following:
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1. “Does This … Make Me Look Fat?”
This is definitely one of the questions you should never ask your partner. It will only start more questions and none of the answers your significant other gives you will totally satisfy you. You will begin to doubt yourself and you will make them feel uncomfortable as well. Just allow them to compliment you and don’t ask so many questions!
Asking your partner whether an outfit makes you look fat puts them in an awkward position. If they say "no", you might think they're not being honest. If they say "yes," it could hurt your feelings. Either way, it's a no-win situation. Instead of fishing for reassurance, focus on how the clothes make you feel. Confidence is the key to looking your best, and seeking validation from someone else about your body can erode self-esteem and introduce unnecessary tension into the relationship.
2. “is He/She Pretty?”
Even though you don’t consider yourself to be a jealous person, you might want to avoid asking this question, because just like you find certain people attractive, so does your partner. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or that they are not attracted to you anymore. No matter what their answer might be, it may lead to insecurity or doubt, so it’s best not to ask this in the first place.
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3. “You do Know Why I’m Mad at You, Right?”
Well, people can’t read minds and most likely, your partner won’t have a clue what you are talking about. Even though you think that they should know and understand you since you spend so much time together, the truth is that unless you tell them what you really want, they can’t possibly know what would make you happy.
4. “Why Don’t You … Anymore?”
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s more than okay to evaluate your relationship, so you’ll be able to notice if certain things need some improvement. Just make sure your questions don’t turn into nagging and that they really are legitimate. Try to acknowledge the little things your partner does for you and show your appreciation for every small gesture of love that you receive.
5. “What Was Your Ex like?”
Before you decide to ask your partner this question, try to consider the reasons that can be found behind your decision. Are you jealous or are you just a little bit curious? And after all, does it really matter how their ex is? They chose to be with you for a reason, so try not to give them a reason to look back.
6. “do You Notice Anything Different?”
This is another question you should try to avoid as much as possible. If your significant other does not notice on a certain occasion that you did something different with your hair or that you bought a new dress/shirt/pair of shoes, it doesn’t mean that they don’t pay attention to you. They just might have other things on their mind and there’s no reason to be upset over a thing like this.
7. “How Old do I Look?”
Well, this is another question that doesn’t have a right answer, since your partner won’t know what answer you’ll find satisfactory. If they tell you that you look a few years younger, you might accuse them of lying by saying that they are only trying to make you feel good about yourself.
There are a lot of sensitive questions that it’s best to not ask your partner if you cherish that special bond you two share. I just mentioned a few in this little article but I’m sure there are many more I could add to this list. Do you know any other questions that you should never ask your partner? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
Sources: thestir.cafemom.com, eharmony.com, yourtango.com
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