7 Smart Answers to Silly and Irritating Questions ...

1. Is This Dress Making Me Look Fat?

Ooops, I’m afraid this is one of those questions you cannot and will not be able to answer correctly no matter how hard you try! Why even bother when you’re either get it wrong or get accused of lying? Well, the next time your dear woman ask you this totally irritating question try using some of these smart answers and I bet she won’t even dream about asking you anything like this again!

- No, hun, you’re not fat, the dress is too tight.
- Comparing to whom? Your BFF? Nope, you’re not fat.
- Nope, THAT dress is not making you look fat.

2. Whoa! Where Did You Learn THAT?

Has your man ever asked something like this? What are you supposed to say when he asks something like this? And most importantly – is it so hard to believe that you’ve actually had “talented” lovers before or that you happen to be a talented lover yourself? This question is just as silly as the previously mentioned one we are so guilty of asking so, in case your man starts interrogating you after every demonstration of your “bedroom skills”, try one of the following lines:

- On my last job.
- Last night, while you were at your friend’s house watching Super Bowl.
- Oh, I’m just naturally gifted… you should know that by now!

3. I Hope You’re Not Expecting Us to Have Sex Tonight?

And here’s another typical female question that isn’t a question as much as a clear declaration of war. You’ve either forgot something, did something wrong or she’s just in a bad mood but, as you probably know by now, it could be all of the above as well. You’re definitely not going to get lucky tonight and if this is something that’s happening for quite some time now and you can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong and why is she constantly trying to emasculate you, here are some smart answers to consider:

- Oh, no problem, I’ve just had one at work.
- Okay and how about tomorrow?
- Oh, don’t worry, I don’t believe in miracles anyways.

4. Am I a Better Lover than Your Ex?

Back to those questions men are guilty of asking more often than women despite the fact that they might not like the answer. He’s probably expecting you to say, “Yes, baby, much better” and I’m sure you’ve already said that… all 53 times and are now wondering if you should record it and put it in his iPod as well. Don’t worry, babe, there are many smart answers you could choose to use as well, and I bet anyone of these will make him think twice before asking something like this again:

- Umm…Let me think… Not really…
- Well, you are pretty close.
- Why? Am I better than your ex?

5. What Would You do if You Haven’t Met Me?

Okay, guys, pay attention right now because this is the part where you’re supposed to use all of your imagination to describe the Shakespearean drama your life would become if she didn’t walk into it shedding sunshine, warmth, starry glow on your gray, lonely soul, covered in thick, old dust. Doesn’t she know there are more women than men on this planet? Yes, your life would certainly be much different if you didn’t meet here and I bet that, knowing what you know now, you wouldn’t be willing to go back, but why is she pushing it? Well, hope your lovely lady can take a joke because she’ll really need to have a sense of humor if you decide to use these lines:

- Umm… Watch football games all day?
- I would enjoy my life.
- I wouldn’t have to answer questions like this.

6. Honey, Where Are My Keys/Remote Control/Cell Phone?

LOL! This question seriously bothers me! In fact, I can’t tell what’s worse, having him ask it or looking at him nervously going through every drawer in the house! I bet some of you know exactly what I’m talking about and for all of you ladies who are smiling right now, thinking, “Oh, I don’t have those problems. He’s very organized, you know…”, shush, now is not the time to gloat! Well, the next time he asks you this and expects you to leave everything you’re doing and help him search for the missing object, try some of the following smart answers:

-The same place where you left it, hun. (sweet smile)
- Call them, maybe they’ll come to you? In fact, wait right there, given the amount of your yelling, I bet they’ve already heard you!

7. What Are You Thinking about?

And I saved the best for last! The question your girlfriend (or maybe your boyfriend) should ask in times when you seem genuinely worried but usually asks in times when you simply drift away for a couple of minutes or, even worse, seconds. What are you supposed to say? After all, you should be allowed to keep some of your own thoughts for yourself, despite of how unimportant they might be. If you say “Nothing”, you’re trying to hide something, if you pause for a second trying to think of something interesting to say (because your mind was REALLY that blank and you know he/she won’t believe that)- you’ll be accused of lying and, again, hiding things. What are you supposed to say? Well, there is no correct answer but some of these might help guide the conversation in a whole different (which, of course, doesn’t mean better) direction:

- Threesome.
- Hot new colleague I will be sharing an office with.
- You know what I’m thinking about babe (this is the part when he/she will say “Yeah” and start talking about things that are on his/her mind – awesome strategy!)

What do you think about these smart answers? Well, maybe they are not smart answers (especially if we’re observing the risk factor) but they will definitely make him or her gasp in disbelief!

Top Photo Credit: photosteve101