Talking dirty is sexy and hot and arousing โฆ but it can also be painfully embarrassing and horrifyingly awkward if you're nervous or if you've never done it before. I mean, sexy phrases sometimes sound so ludicrous when you say them out loud, don't they? Can you ever imagine telling somebody to pound you hard and cum on your tits? Well, some of you probably can โ some people are so skilled at talking dirty that they're like sexual orators. Others stumble all over themselves and accidentally end up saying the most un-sexy things possible. This post is for those girls โ all the girls who are much too nervous to try talking dirty. I got you, ladies.
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Forget Watching Porn ๐บ, It's Time to Read Some Erotica ๐
Research is the key anytime you learn something new, and that counts for dirty talk, too. It probably seems like porn is the perfect place to learn how to bring some verbal raunch into the bedroom ๐, but โฆ yeah, no, it's not. In much of today's porn, the dialogue is so corny ๐ฝ, fake, and unnatural that it's impossible to take it seriously. Erotica, on the other hand, relies on language. The words are an integral part of the arousal, and there's often fantastic dialogue.
Sexts ๐ฒ Are the Perfect Jumping-off Point for Your Foray into Dirty Talk
Starting small is often helpful. If you're eager to become fluent in a dirtier dialect of the language of love ๐, just text. Texting ๐ฒ makes it easier to talk about certain things in general. Talking dirty through text lets you ease your way into it. It's less embarrassing when you aren't face-to-face, and since you have time to think ๐ญ before you write, you won't feel quite as nervous. Besides, sexting ๐ฌ is a great way to flirt with your partner โ it excites both of you!
Find out Your Partner's Trigger Words
We all have words and phrases and descriptions of sexual acts that particularly arouse ๐ us. Most men and women like specific words for each other's genitalia ๐๐ and descriptions of what they'll do to each other. Everyone also has preferences โ a guy might prefer the word โdick,โ a woman might dislike the word โpussy.โ Hearing them gives us a jolt and a tingle. They make us squirm a little. Those are the words you want to use when you're talking dirty. Your partner might even be aroused ๐ by something you specifically say โ and it doesn't even have to be sexual! Heather pronounces โmilkโ like โmelkโ so it rhymes with โelk,โ and something about her accent with that word just bakes my biscuits.
To unlock your partner's peak desire, play the word detective. Ask them directly or turn it into a flirtatious game to discover their hot-button vocabulary. Perhaps the unexpected, like "silk" or "whisper," will send shivers down their spine. Remember, what works in romance novels or adult films might not sync with your bedroom reality. Equally important is noting the off-limits wordsโthose that may be a turn-off or trigger unpleasant feelings. Keeping the communication open and respectful ensures your dirty talk is a delightful addition rather than a distracting misstep.
Talk about What You Want in Excruciatingly Exquisite Detail
Here's a secret: your partner more than likely loves โค๏ธ hearing ๐ about what turns you on and what you want her or him to do. If you're at a loss and don't know how to get started, it's the perfect place. It gets easier as time goes on, but even if you're not super detailed at first, letting your partner know where you want to be touched or what position you want to try is enough on its own.
Voice Your Feelings and Your Arousal Loud and Proud
Letting your partner know s/he's doing a good job is a turn-on. It's also another fantastic starting place if you're not sure what to say ๐ฃ next. If you're about to orgasm ๐ค , say so. Do you find something your partner's doing particularly pleasing? Let her or him know. Not only is it sexy, but it practically guarantees your lover will do it again in the future. ๐
Communication in the bedroom can elevate the entire experience. Murmuring sweet nothings, or perhaps something a little more daring, can intensify the connection between you and your partner. Don't be shy to express your desires or to give a little instructional guidance if there's a specific way you like to be touched or kissed. Remember, consent and comfort are paramount; keep the dialogue open and respectful. This encourages a safe environment where both you and your partner feel valued and heard โ and where your pleasure can truly flourish.
Announce What You're Going to do
This subject matter is exciting for both partners, as well. It's also the perfect way to take the lead if you want to be the aggressor. Talking ๐ฃ about it โ again, in as much detail as you can muster โ increases the anticipation, keeping your partner turned on and on edge. It's that much sweeter and even more satisfactory ๐ when you finally do what you described.
Master the Art of One-word Dirty Talk
It's perfectly acceptable to talk dirty using one word at a time, which is perfect for girls ๐ญ who are nervous ๐ฅ about doing it. You can reveal what you like, give a demand, and encourage your partner with just one word. โYes,โ โharder,โ โmore,โ โdeeper,โ โslower,โ and โfasterโ are all options, plus there's a whole host of dirty words and epithets at your disposal.
Do you talk ๐ฏ dirty in bed? What are some of the words and phrases you use to drive someone wild?
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