You know, there's not much difference between heterosexual dating and LGBTQIA+ dating. In the end, we all want the same things – to meet someone we like being with, someone we share things with, someone who makes us happy. We want fun, we want sex, and we want love. Sharing knowledge and perspective is one of the best ways to educate people who maybe don't understand what it's like to be part of the LGBTQIA+ dating scene, so … here we go!
1 In Theory, It's Not Really Different from Heterosexual Dating
Love is love is love, after all, and none of us are really different in our quest to find someone special.
Frequently asked questions
2 But in Practice, It's a Lot Different
At the same time, however, there's no denying the fact that people in the LGBTQIA+ community face challenges that heterosexual people don't.
3 Some LGBTQIA+ Folks Date Casually
Just like some straight people date casually.
4 Some Enjoy Having as Much Sex as Possible
Just like some straight people enjoy having as much sex as possible.
5 Others Are Simply Looking for a Soulmate
Just like some straight people are simply looking for a soulmate.
6 And Still Others Are Interested in Romance and Intimacy, but Not Sex
For example, asexual people – who can be gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, and so on – generally don't have much, if any, desire for sex.
7 It's Not True That All Gay Men Are Looking for Sex
It depends entirely on the individual, but it also doesn't matter – nothing wrong with loving lots of sex.
8 It's Not True That All Lesbians Get Super Serious after the First Date
“What do lesbians do on their second date?” “Rent a U-Haul.”
9 It's Not True That All Bisexuals Are Greedy Cheaters Trying to Date Everyone
This is such a crap stereotype all the way around – being attracted to different genders does not mean that you want to date all of them at once.
10 It's Not True That All Asexual People Hate Dating or Relationships
This is a harmful stereotype, too – too few people understand what it actually means to identify as asexual.
11 It's Important to Choose a Comfortable, Safe Space for Your Date
For obvious reasons, an LGBTQIA+ couple out on a date must feel like they're safe – and make fun of “safe spaces” as much as you like, but there's clearly a need.
12 You Sometimes Have to Be Aware of Showing Any Affection in Public
This isn't true everywhere, thank god, but most LGBTQIA+ couples who are on a date hesitate before daring to peck each other on the lips or even hold hands when they're in public because of the potential repercussions – at best, we may be accused of “shoving our sexuality down someone's throat” (or, as Heather and I have experienced, asked if we would like a threesome with “a real man”), and at worst, things can turn violent.
13 It's Not a Good Idea to Make Snap Judgments
You never know what someone likes, what they want, or even how they identify.
14 And You Can't Assume Something about Someone Based on Their Appearance
There's such a wide, beautiful spectrum of people who need and want different things, present different ways, and identify with different sexualities.
15 Just Because Two LGBTQIA+ People Go on a Date Doesn't Mean It's an Automatic Love Match
One of my mom's friends is still convinced that I'd just love her lesbian niece, simply because we're both lesbians.
16 Meeting the Parents is Usually Just as Awkward for Us
Always awkward.
17 And Most of Us Really do Tend to Keep One or Two Fingers Cut Very Short
