If you pay attention to the media at all, you know that everyone talks about sex. It's portrayed as being a certain way when in reality, most of what you hear around you are myths. Let's be real. People like to overdramatize things. People like to talk about sex without really mentioning a lot of facts. This is how myths get spread, specifically, myths about your first time doing the deed.
While there are some things you can definitely pay attention to, we recommend not listening to the opinions of the media and everyone who is whispering things in your ear. Get the facts about sex and make your own decision when the time is right. We're exposing some of the most common myths today, to hopefully help you distinguish some of the fact from fiction.
If you have ever been told that when you have sex for the first time, you should be prepared for it to last several hours, then you were told wrong. It’s unlikely that you and your partner will last for long because it’s a new experience for both of you, and therefore you haven’t learned how to control yourself, or your partner hasn’t actually ever had an orgasm before, other than in his hands. So know this, when it comes to having sex for the first time, you’ll be lucky if you last longer than five minutes, but it’s highly unlikely. [Read: 10 foolproof sex tips every girl should know!]
Sure, crying does take place and can easily happen when you’re having sex for the first time. I mean I get it, I’m a girl, and we are emotional. We can start replaying everything we’ve ever done and start wondering if this guy is “The One” and if we’ll get married because we’re having sex, and whatever else goes on in that head of yours. But I am not talking about the emotional element of crying when it comes to having sex for the first time.
I am referring to the myth that if you have sex for the first time, you will cry because it will hurt so much. This is false. It really just depends on your body, and his member and how the two go together. If you’re completely aroused and the guy you’re with got you all warmed up with his fingers and his mouth, then it will probably not hurt as much. However, if he just shoves it in without getting you worked up first, then yes, it will probably hurt like a b*tch. [Read: Everything you need to know about first time sex]
Crying during that first intimate encounter doesn't always stem from physical pain—though, let’s be honest, it can be a part of the experience. It’s just as likely to be an emotional release, a reaction to the intensity of the moment or anxiety release. Look, it's a big deal, right? The trick is to be in tune with your body and communicate with your partner. If you take things slow, use plenty of lubrication, and make sure you’re both ready, you’ll be setting the stage for a much more comfortable—and hopefully enjoyable—first time. And remember, it’s super normal to feel all the feels!
If every first sexual encounter resulted in a pregnancy, then why aren’t there more teenage moms in the world? I’m not saying there should be more, but the whole point of contraception and safe sex is to prevent getting pregnant from a sexual encounter, whether it’s your first or 100th.
If your partner wears a condom or you’re on the pill or you use any other form of contraception, then the likelihood of getting pregnant is minimized. However, a lack of any form of contraception other than the withdrawal method or sheer, dumb luck might still result in a baby 9 months down the road.
Just like you were told that having sex for the first time would last a long time, you’ve probably also been told that you will have the most incredible orgasm of your life when you have sex for the first time. Wrong. More than likely you won’t really start enjoying it until you and your partner have practiced pleasuring each other’s bodies.
The trick to great sex after you pop your first-time card is to get in the right rhythm with each other, and learn the ebb and flow of your bodies. Just like you need rhythm to dance and move your body, you also need it when it comes to connecting and having great sex. [Read: The beginner’s guide to tantric sex and mind-blowing orgasms]
Understanding each other's desires and turn-ons is crucial, and that often means communication is key. Don't be shy to tell your partner what feels good and ask them the same. With openness and experimentation, you'll find that building up to that earth-shattering climax gets easier. Remember, there's no rush; it's about the journey as much as the destination. Taking the time to explore and appreciate each other's bodies leads to intensified pleasure and potentially that best orgasm you’ve been dreaming about.
Here’s the thing about STD’s that you may or may not know, and that is you can get them without having sex. I know, shocker! You could get an STD from giving a guy a blowjob or having a guy go down on you, just as easily as you could from having sex.
If you are a first-timer when it comes to sex, please do not believe this ridiculous myth any longer and realize that if you have ever touched his penis to your mouth, or his mouth to your vagina, or whatever else, you were just as exposed to the possibility of STDs as you will be when you two have sex. There are tons of ways you can protect yourself against STDs, but thinking that the way to avoid getting them is to do everything else but have actual sex is not one of them. [Read: Is your boyfriend using the just-the-tip excuse to get you to have sex?]
This one goes along with the crying myth, and not everyone experiences pain when having sex for the first time. When you have sex for the first time, it doesn’t mean it will hurt. It’s just like how some ladies have easy pregnancies and some don’t, or how some people get their teeth pulled out and don’t feel any pain and then others lay on a couch for a week because they are in so much pain. Everyone’s experience is different, but there are methods you can use to avoid the pain.
For one, going slowly and gently might help reduce the pain. Another method is using lubricants to ease the guy’s entrance. Another more common method is using foreplay to make sure both your bodies are ready for the actual act, instead of diving in there head-first *pun intended*. [Read: How to get yourself horny by using your mind]
It's also crucial to communicate with your partner, letting them know what feels good and what doesn't. Open conversation can make a world of difference, helping you both adjust movements and positions for a comfortable experience. Remember, relaxation is vital; stress can lead to muscle tension, which might contribute to discomfort. So, take deep breaths, focus on the moment, and enjoy the intimacy with your partner. It's about the journey together, not just the destination, so cherish these shared moments and grow closer emotionally as you do physically.
This is the famous “popping the cherry” that all guys everywhere covet and want to be king of. If you’ve believed the myth that you’ll bleed everywhere if your cherry gets popped, you should stop believing it right now. Yes, some girls tend to bleed when they have sex for the first time, but it doesn’t mean it will happen to you and you’ll end up looking like a scene from Carrie.
The blood comes from the tearing of a hymen, which is a thin connective tissue near the entrance of the vagina. It’s thin, so there aren’t a lot of blood vessels in it. What looks like a boatload of blood might actually just be your natural vaginal lubrication mixed with a bit of blood. But even if this happens, just prepare for the worst and lay a towel down where you’ll be doing it. It’s really not that big of a deal, and if anything, the guy you’re with might just be glad to see proof that he “popped your cherry.”
With all these myths in mind, I can actually remember my first time like it was yesterday, and not because of the guy. I can remember it because sure, there were some tears, and you can fill in the rest. But guess what… I didn’t get pregnant. It didn’t last long. And I didn’t orgasm. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it!]
And as I’m writing this, I’m laughing out loud thinking about just how far I’ve come! These myths about having sex for the first time are just that, myths. It doesn’t matter if you’re saving yourself for marriage or not, having sex for the first time will definitely be an experience, but it won’t read like a bad dream, and you’ll probably end up laughing, and thinking to yourself what all the hype was about.