All Women's Talk

7 Reasons Not to Get Back Together with Your Ex ...

By Alison

There are lots of very good reasons not to get back together with your ex. It may be tempting to rekindle a romance - after all, he is someone you loved. But you have to ask yourself why a failed relationship would work the second time round. Often it would be a mistake. Here are some sound reasons not to get back together with your ex …

1 Weak Moment

One of the most important reasons not to get back together with your ex is if you're doing so in a moment of weakness. Perhaps you're experiencing doubts as to whether you did the right thing in ending the relationship, or you're scared about being apart from someone you've known a long time. It's better to give yourself time, so that you can view the situation more objectively.

2 Bad Treatment

Don't even think about going back to someone who didn't treat you well. This doesn't just mean being physically abusive. Mental abuse is equally as unacceptable as physical abuse, and you shouldn't be with someone who tried to control you. If he used you as a meal ticket, put you down, or wouldn't allow you to see your friends, then you're well shot of him.

3 Feeling Sorry for Him

Another bad reason to get back with your ex is that you feel sorry for them. Men can be just as needy as women, and may play on your sympathy in an attempt to rekindle the romance. Don't fall for this. Even if he's not trying to manipulate you, it's not a good basis for a relationship - especially not one that's already failed. And it will only make you both miserable.

4 Afraid to Be Single

Or, any relationship is better than none. Too many people stay in a relationship because they are afraid of going it alone. When you've been with someone a long time, facing life without them can be very daunting. Don't let this push you into resuming the relationship. It ended for a reason. Being alone can be a challenge, but you will cope.

5 Desperate for a Family

Do you think that time is running out for you to have a family? Don't use this to convince yourself that you should get back with your ex. You, your ex, and your future children all deserve better than making do. Try to start a family for this reason and you'll very likely end up a single mother. Be open to meeting someone new, and you may meet a great person to have kids with.

6 He's Got Prospects

Sure, this is great if you really love the guy, but it's a poor reason to get back with him. This isn't the 1950s any more; women are perfectly capable of making their own way. He might have a great career ahead of him, but can you face waking up next to him for the next 50 years?

7 He's Pushing You

Some people push and push you to start again. This may be, as I've mentioned above, because he can't face life without you. But some men also find it impossible to let go if you're the one who's ended the relationship. Their ego can't accept that you want to be without them. Don't let someone pressure you to go back to them; you've made your decision.

Sometimes a relationship can work the second time round, if you split up because of distance, for example. Mostly it's not worth considering. Nobody likes going through a break up, but we do survive and come out intact. Have you ever got back with an ex, and what was the outcome?

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