There are lots of very good reasons not to get back together with your ex. It may be tempting to rekindle a romance - after all, he is someone you loved. But you have to ask yourself why a failed relationship would work the second time round. Often it would be a mistake. Here are some sound reasons not to get back together with your ex …
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1. Weak Moment
One of the most important reasons not to get back together with your ex is if you're doing so in a moment of weakness. Perhaps you're experiencing doubts as to whether you did the right thing in ending the relationship, or you're scared about being apart from someone you've known a long time. It's better to give yourself time, so that you can view the situation more objectively.
2. Bad Treatment
Don't even think about going back to someone who didn't treat you well. This doesn't just mean being physically abusive. Mental abuse is equally as unacceptable as physical abuse, and you shouldn't be with someone who tried to control you. If he used you as a meal ticket, put you down, or wouldn't allow you to see your friends, then you're well shot of him.
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3. Feeling Sorry for Him
Another bad reason to get back with your ex is that you feel sorry for them. Men can be just as needy as women, and may play on your sympathy in an attempt to rekindle the romance. Don't fall for this. Even if he's not trying to manipulate you, it's not a good basis for a relationship - especially not one that's already failed. And it will only make you both miserable.
4. Afraid to Be Single
Or, any relationship is better than none. Too many people stay in a relationship because they are afraid of going it alone. When you've been with someone a long time, facing life without them can be very daunting. Don't let this push you into resuming the relationship. It ended for a reason. Being alone can be a challenge, but you will cope.
5. Desperate for a Family
Do you think that time is running out for you to have a family? Don't use this to convince yourself that you should get back with your ex. You, your ex, and your future children all deserve better than making do. Try to start a family for this reason and you'll very likely end up a single mother. Be open to meeting someone new, and you may meet a great person to have kids with.
6. He's Got Prospects
Sure, this is great if you really love the guy, but it's a poor reason to get back with him. This isn't the 1950s any more; women are perfectly capable of making their own way. He might have a great career ahead of him, but can you face waking up next to him for the next 50 years?
7. He's Pushing You
Some people push and push you to start again. This may be, as I've mentioned above, because he can't face life without you. But some men also find it impossible to let go if you're the one who's ended the relationship. Their ego can't accept that you want to be without them. Don't let someone pressure you to go back to them; you've made your decision.
Sometimes a relationship can work the second time round, if you split up because of distance, for example. Mostly it's not worth considering. Nobody likes going through a break up, but we do survive and come out intact. Have you ever got back with an ex, and what was the outcome?
Comments
Denmarie: 2 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend for no reason other than I had never been in love before and when I started falling for him I got scared and thought that I had to break up with him before we got too serious ... For 2 years I dated other guys trying to find him but I never went on second dates or ever gave someone else a real chance .... When the lightbulb went off I worked up the bravery to find his number and give him a call to apologize for the way I had hurt him (he remained single for the two years) and asked him if he would give us a second chance .... He told me that he had noticed that he loved me right when I broke up with him even though the words had remained unspoken... We've been together for some time now and have never been happier I'm not scared of being in love and neither is he this time around we are 100x closer and so much more mature and grown up .... Sometimes getting back with your ex is the worst idea ... But there are those rare exceptions where it is actually the best thing for your happiness .... Sorry for the extremely long post lol
issac: i've been in miserable relation for at least this last two year till now ..whenever we broke up ..its just for a while ..i dont know what to do
Irma: my boyfriend of nearly a year and i just split
Patricia: @Brianna Agreed !
beautiful: i think this hits it in the button for me,i don't like being alone
Stephanie: This is perfect. Lord knows its hard not to backslide into a failed relationship.
Beca: I don't like being alone to
Brianna: Got back with my ex I'm Sept. We had been together 7months before & split for 2months because he was unsure of what he wanted. I DATED someone else & he talked to another girl. He wasn't happy, I wasn't happy. We were hardly friends. One day we weren't planning on seeing each other & got to messing around like we use to, discovered how much we missed each other & BAM! We were together, now we live together :) second chances aren't all that horrible. Sometimes time is needed to discover what you truly want!
Taylala: Well me and my ex got back together in October 13 after an 8 month split. We had been together for a year and 6 months and then ended up living together. We were both miserable with each other when we moved in but found out it was lack of communication and others interfering (housemates). We now keep ourselves to ourselves and even though it is still a bit rocky we are doing okay. The split was probably the best thing for us to grow up apart but now we are trying to grow together. This sounds so mushy aha. Brianna; we were hardly friends too, only talking if needed and he rang me out of the blue wanting to meet up. I knew what he wanted but at that point I was fuming he had put me through so much and then wanted me back. We were both paralytic by the time we met up but it was worth it. And even though it might not last; he is so worth the risk. I know what I am getting myself into and probably won't look at relationships with the same purity. Trust is also an issue but only time will tell with these things xxx
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