You know how it is. Everyone’s doing it. You’ve been a bridesmaid twice and your best friend is looking in the window of jewelers’ shops. It looks tempting but you decided a long time ago it wasn’t something you’d ever dreamed of doing. Many of your friends and family will think you are a bit of a freak wanting to stay a single girl so in case you need a bit of support, here are 7 reasons not to get married.
Weddings are expensive. They are subject of more family disputes and friendship breakups than almost anything else. A wedding will take over your life. You will become obsessed with flowers and cutlery and tablecloths. Your family will subject you to emotional blackmail, and the man in your life will say he never wanted all this fuss anyway.
You can have the whole bed. There really is nothing to compare with the utter bliss of sinking into the middle of a double bed, hugging the duvet to yourself and keeping it that way through the night. One of the reasons to not get married is that you can load up the bed with books, magazines, chocolate and cats, and nobody will complain, and if you want to read with the light on, that’s fine.
If you love the TV, one of the reasons to not get married is you operate the remote control. You can choose what to watch, and see it all the way through without somebody else flicking through the channels every ten minutes to see if there’s anything better on. You can cry over a movie without being laughed at, and you can watch a thriller without somebody guessing repeatedly what the ending will be.
You can eat what you want, when you want. Cook if you want to, order takeaway if you don’t. You don’t need to use a plate, (if you’re not married you may not have any plates of course) and if you want to have two puddings instead of a main, go ahead. Experiment with cooking. If it’s a disaster, nobody will know but you.
Have a glass of wine when you feel like it, and if you want another, there’s no-one to tell you how you always get silly when you have two.
When travelling, please yourself entirely. Another of the reasons to not get married is being able to have your perfect vacation when you like and where you like. If your idea of a great holiday is lying on a beach, sitting in cafes and watching the world go by, you can do it. If you’re into sights and museums, you can do that too. No more trudging up rain-soaked hills, cycling long distances to bad pubs, or queuing to see international football. Unless that’s your thing of course.
You can go out when you want to, stay out as long as you want to, and if you’re in the mood, you can flirt outrageously. As long as you’re careful, you can have a ball without having to explain yourself to anyone.
So the next time you see a white invitation land on your doormat, remember there are plenty of reasons not to get married. Buy a dress of your own choosing, have your hair the way you like it and show up cheerfully. After all, what’s to worry about? It’s not you who’s getting married.
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