Dating is fun, exciting and presents a world of opportunities – but then dating is confusing, too! We’re meant to be having the time of our lives here! But dating definitely isn’t always everything it’s cracked up to be; in fact, it’s a veritable minefield of awkward moments, endless wondering and possible rejections. Keeping in mind that the positives outweigh the negatives, here are nine reasons why dating is confusing.
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1. Blind Dates
What part of blind dating is confusing? All of it! Blind dates – spending a couple of hours with someone you’ve never met or seen. Most people have been on a blind date or two during their single lives. But, if you’re going on one, you need to mentally prepare yourself for a couple of hours of potential awkwardness. If it really is a blind date, then will you know who he is? Will you make him wear a sign? What if you don’t find him attractive? Worse still – what if he doesn’t find you attractive? Sweaty palms all round!
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Going on a blind date can feel like you're stepping into the unknown, almost like a romantic game of chance. The swirling thoughts are endless. How do we start the conversation? What if the silence stretches on too long? Plus, there’s the worry of whether you'll click personality-wise. It’s all about first impressions, but without the foreknowledge of their quirks and temperaments. To navigate this, keep your expectations in check and perhaps arm yourself with a few icebreaker topics. After all, chemistry can't be forced, but a good laugh over a shared awkwardness might just make for a memorable evening.
2. Dinner
Going out for dinner – a lovely idea in theory; but am I the only person who finds it nerve-wracking when you eat in front of a date for the first time? What do you order? Ever gone out and ended up with food in your teeth, or you’ve dropped your dinner down your dress? I once tried to cut into a pizza and shot the whole thing off my plate and onto the floor. Argh!
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And let's not even mention the internal debate over whether to go for a garlic-infused dish – kiss of death or a sign of confidence in your mutual attraction? Then, heaven forbid you decide on something that requires a complex eating strategy like spaghetti or a burger stacked higher than your face. The fear of the splatter zone is real, my friends. It's like a culinary obstacle course where your potential soulmate awards points for grace under pressure and subtracts them for each slip of the napkin. Oh, the pressure of a first impression at the dinner table!
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3. Great ... Hic ... Night
You’re having a lovely time, the conversation is flowing and so is the wine. Actually, maybe the wine’s flowing a little too much. The annoying thing about getting drunk is that it can happen all too easily, especially when you’re having a good time. Then, suddenly, your inhibitions are gone and you find yourself talking too loudly and sharing too much information.
4. Sorry, There's an Emergency!
You’ve arrived, and it’s the worst date ever. You aren’t attracted to him, or you’ve realised you have absolutely nothing in common and you’re both sitting there in agonising silence. Time to make excuses that you both know aren’t true. "Oh, I have an early start tomorrow!" ... "Really? Me too!" ... and that’s if both of you are having a bad time … if it’s just one of you, it’s even more awkward.
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Escaping a bad date often feels like you’re tiptoeing through a minefield of social awkwardness. I just remembered, I need to feed my neighbor's cat! Classic, but not foolproof. What if they offer to help? And let's not forget the scramble to come up with a believable story on the spot. I suddenly don't feel too well – a line as old as time, but at least it's somewhat graceful. The dance of dodging a second date starts now, and you're wondering just how terrible it would be to ghost... No, you're better than that... right?
5. Just like the Movies
You’ve met, you’ve had a great time, and you think you like him. On the outside, you’re saying what a good time you’ve had, and how you’d like to see him again sometime. On the inside, you’re thinking ‘COULD HE BE THE ONE? ARE WE GOING TO GET MARRIED?’ The product of too many bad dates, and too many films like The Notebook.
6. Mixed Signals
Have you ever been on a date where you think you may like the guy, but you literally have no idea how he’s feeling? Some people are just really difficult to read and they don’t give much away. Cue ensuing days of wondering.
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This leaves you analyzing every text and replaying each moment of the date in your mind, trying to decipher if there were any clues you might have missed. Maybe when he touched his tie, it was a secret sign? Or when he laughed at your joke — was it just politeness? Social cues can be subtle, and without definitive signals, you're left to the mercy of interpretation, which often feels like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces.
7. Who's Paying?
It’s the 21st century; men and women are equal. But, let’s be honest – most of us think it’s a nice gesture if the man pays on the first date. Still, we like to at least offer. Then have a little pretend argument where he refuses and we say we’d like to pay. But we don’t. Not really.
8. Goodnight Kiss
It’s the end of the night; neither of you have made your excuses and left early, so maybe the date is going well. But do you kiss at the end of the night? There’s always that moment of awkwardness before a kiss when neither of you really knows what’s going to happen. Or, does he go for the lips and you give him the cheek? Cringe!
9. Do You or Don't You?
No, not the obvious. I mean, the date went well (you think so, at least) and you would like to see him again. Do you contact him? Do you wait a couple of days and see if he contacts you? What if he doesn’t? Is he just not that into you? This is 2013; surely the girl can contact the guy without seeming too keen... right? Will we ever know the answers to these questions?
So, there you are - ten reasons why dating is so confusing! It's worth it though, and everyone has these awkward moments. Do you have any funny dating stories to tell?
Comments
Chloé: I just went on a date from online last night I can't believe how well it went .. Maybe too well.. Trying not to think into it too much I can relate to the " one good date after millions of bad dates and the notebook " line lololollol
Brenda: I went on a date with someone I met online. He showed up smelly, with work clothes. When I asked him if he came from work he said he had worked the day before and was off. Ew. He also had horrible awful teeth with food stuck in them lol caked everywhere. An we didn't even order our food yet.
Alisha: I like to hangout more. With groups of people to get to know someone for the first time.
Bonita: Could you do an article/s ( tips, advices, etc...) about being a "strung along". I knew this guy for 3yrs we would talk almost everynight/day and we like eachother however for past 2yrs he kinda been MIA( he even blocked me off facebook). we hooked up here and there like once month. well I notice was with a girl on one his friends facebook pictures. turns out they are together. I asked my friends about this without mentioning he with someone. well one said its a bootycall, others think im a strung along sincethey know he likes me but whats me to focus in college. and that its okay for guy to date/ing other people while they like someone, its more like way for that someone to be with someone while the one they like is finishing whatever. and they said its not like we're married. I might sound like im alittle over reacting but I'm so new to the dating world( I'm 21yrs old). I also met a couple that they told me that before they got married she was strung along cause she didn't want to be too distracted with relationship while she was in college. now they are married for 3yrs and they are been together ever since. So yea that would be helpful also I'm a Capricorn and the guy I like is a Scorpio.
kami: So I've been talking to this guy for a few months that I met through a friend, we've hanged out twice and we text literally every day! This past weekend we went out to dance and dinner and of course we kissed, so he asked me how should he interpret this hangout/ date? If we were starting to date or what? He texted me the next day that he had a great time with me. However he mentioned that he was talking to another girl after I asked him if there was "someone else" before he asked about the whole dating thing. How should I take this as? And will dating be getting to go out and get to know more about each other or is he meaning it like a relationship wise???
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