7 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Back to Your Ex-Boyfriend ...

By Jackie • Mar 28, 2014 MD

Trying to remember all of the reasons to never go back to an ex can be hard. But, sometimes after a couple of cocktails or a particularly sad romantic movie, you find yourself sitting there wondering if could be different this time around? Well, press stop on that DVD and sit down, while I give you seven reasons to never go back to an ex.

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1. He Was a Cheater

That is by far one of the most important reasons to never go back to an ex. But, just in case you need some reinforcement, I’ll give you some more - once a cheater, always a cheater. Chances are he’s already moved onto another girl (or, two) and is cheating on her for all of the same reasons why he cheated on you. A cheating boyfriend will only become a cheating husband.

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2. He Called You up and Misses You

Have you dated the ‘come around the bend’ guy? That charming lad who wines and dines you while you fall helplessly in love with him, only for him to leave you for a number of life pressing reasons? His job has become too demanding for a relationship, or he needs to get his life in order before entering a committed relationship with you. Here’s the thing - they’re all excuses. The ‘come around the bend’ guy tricks you so that you’ll go back to him - but only when it’s convenient for him.

***

If you’ve been in a relationship with a ‘come around the bend’ guy, you know how difficult it can be to move on. He may call you up and tell you he misses you, but don’t be fooled — he’s only trying to get you back when it’s convenient for him. He may promise that he’ll change and be the man you want him to be, but chances are he won’t.

It’s important to remember that if you go back to this type of guy, you’ll only be setting yourself up for more heartache. He may have a knack for making you feel special, but he’s not capable of giving you the kind of commitment and loyalty you need in a relationship. He may come around again, but he’ll eventually slip away again when it’s convenient for him.

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3. It’s Familiar

The older we get, the scarier it is to try something or someone new. Going back to the tried and true seems easier than going on a bunch of bad dates and bar hopping. No one likes dating, but it’s how you meet people, just like your ex. Resist the urge to go back to your old guy and try the unknown. Who knows? Maybe your ex will seem like the distant memory by the end of the night.

***

One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to relationships is going back to their ex-boyfriend. It’s understandable to feel comfortable with someone you’ve been with before, but it’s important to remember why the relationship ended in the first place. Going back to an ex could be a sign that you’re not ready to move on and take a chance with someone new.

It’s familiar to go back to an ex, but it’s not always the best choice. If you’re feeling lonely or are having trouble meeting someone new, it’s best to try something else. Going to a bar, joining a dating site, or even just talking to friends can help you meet new people and get out of your comfort zone.

It’s also important to remember that your ex may not be the same person he was when you were together. People change over time, and your ex could have different attitudes, values, and goals than he did when you were together. If you go back to an ex, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Finally, it’s important to remember that relationships are about more than just chemistry.

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4. You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

But, you might just get what you need. Sometimes we want something (like an ex) but it’s important to remember all of the reasons why it didn’t work out before your daydream away. Make a list of reasons why it didn’t work out and be honest with yourself. Maybe it’s time to accept that it happened for the best.

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If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. The Break up Game

Do you love drama? Is The Bachelor your favorite show? Let me remind you, when you’re in a healthy relationship you generally want to stay in a healthy relationship. If you’re breaking up and getting back together every other week, it creates a false sense of passion. What you’re living off of isn’t the connection between you two, but rather the disconnection you like to make. Re-evaluate why you are in your relationship and whether it’s because you really want to be or if you only like the drama of it.

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6. Your Friends and Family Don’t Approve

If you’re having a relationship where it’s you against the world, it isn’t romantic, it’s unrealistic. If you plan on spending the rest of your life or even a chunk of it with someone that your friends and family generally don’t like, expect to have a lot of two people parties. If you want to alienate yourself from your life, dating someone your friends and family don’t approve of is a perfect way to do it.

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7. You’re Lonely

It’s easy to call up an ex and make it feel like the first time all over again. But, that feeling only lasts for the first time. That rush of adrenaline quickly fades and all of the reasons you didn’t work out the first time will come rushing back to you.

As tempting as it may seem to call up an ex and return to the love nest you once remember, take a long look at the why you broke up in the first place. Like the saying goes, never go back. Do you have a story of why you should never go back? Let me know!

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Olivia

    2014-07-01T17:23:31.795Z

    My ex and I got bak together 5 months ago... and we are doing great now! we both just grew up and matured a litte, so that is belong our relationship now:)
  • Soozie

    2014-03-28T09:23:52.926Z

    Perfect timing!! This popped up just as I'm sat here thinking about the guy I finished with yesterday...because he was playing the "round the bend" game! Thank you for helping me refocus in why I walked away!
  • Melessa

    2014-03-28T16:59:56.539Z

    I find other things to do with my time so I don't think off him at all cause god knows that was the worst relationship I ever been in but out of that disaster came my son.
  • Anne

    2014-03-28T19:05:09.552Z

    So true
  • anon

    2023-02-01T16:47:38.449Z

    all my ex's come back. this one 22 yrs ago emailed in 2023!, This last ex betrayed me the worse, and I am tempted, because he is amazing in spite of it. I took my time, shortly wrote a "no thank you" back to him email, 55 yr old...now..not a kid. It was a RUSH of beating heart, knowing how he thrill's me, but I STOPPED. I said " WAIT??? no. DON'T. I am seeing a really sweet friend/ benefit who treats me very sweet, is giver, and honest. its new, but he is a previous friend. even the bible says " do not be tempted"!!!
  • Anaya

    2014-05-29T21:47:06.814Z

    My ex and I dated for 5 years. He began drinking is summer 2013 I tried to get him help but I began having bad dreams. And then I began second guessing myself about being a relationship with him. I didn't know where I stood or where he and I stood so I told him it's time for us to call it an end. I don't want a boyfriend that's going to treat me like his pet dog. Or a boyfriend that's going to flirt with other girls or someone I have to beg there attention for I don't want that. As of now I'm doing better just finished my sophomore of high school. My ex goes to the same HS as me but I just pretend that he doesn't exist. At least I finally know what I deserve in a relationship. I want a relationship where someone is on the same page as me or even close. Not someone who is immature and will cheat with me right behind my back. I'm a very beautiful young girl who doesn't ask for a lot as long as he is real with me I will be real with him.
  • Aayushi

    2014-03-28T17:39:38.357Z

    Why going back? Dere waz a reason u left him!!!
  • Godzilla

    2014-03-28T19:48:27.232Z

    Wish I had remembered these reasons a few months ago!
  • Minhchau

    2014-04-03T14:00:38.945Z

    It's hard moving on when you love someone so deeply....
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