Although honesty is very important, there are some secrets in a relationship that add value, too. It is important to know what you should be open about and what you shouldn’t. There are some secrets in a relationship that can help the relationship to be a better one. Nothing can be gained by sharing certain secrets such as those that are listed below.
One of the secrets in a relationship that is best kept quiet is that you don’t like his mother. This goes for any other family member but most likely he will have a special place in his heart for his mom. Nothing good can be gained of sharing your feelings on this. Sharing this information will just cause tension between the two of you. You are better off to just try to get along with her and remember she is not someone you have to be around very often.
While it is good to share things you have gone through in your past, there is a line. It is good to be open and honest but there are some things our partner may not want to know. There are some things that they are better off not knowing. It’s better to give the overall summary of past relationships than the entire detailed story.
Overdisclosing about past relationships can be like walking on a tightrope—too much information, and you may inadvertently stir up jealousy or insecurity. Remember, focusing on excessively tiny details can make your partner feel as though they are being compared to a previous love, which often leads to discomfort. Consider their feelings—is a play-by-play of yesteryears' romances essential to the foundation you're building? It's usually not. Reserve such details unless they're contextually important to understanding who you are today. The emotional health of your current relationship should be the priority.
Everyone has quirks. We are all individuals and have things about us that make us unique. Sometimes those things annoy others. If your guy has a quirk, it is better to just not mention it. Remember that you may have some funky habits, too.
If you are sharing financial accounts, you want to have honesty but it is still sometimes good to not discuss individual little purchases. You might try having a limit that you need to talk about if you are going to spend above that amount. Then if it is below that limit, let it go unsaid. As much as your guy loves you, he may not get why you need a $15 lipstick or a $23 hair product.
This is another area where it is good to realize we are different. Let him be who he is and you be who you are. He may cook differently than you do or cut the grass differently than you would like. If the end result is good, ignore the process he uses. There are many other important areas of your relationship you can choose conflict in.
Nothing will be gained if you tell him you don’t like his jokes. Additionally, his feelings may be hurt if you do. Unless his jokes are offensive, be polite and laugh. So what if they are a little corny? Try to learn to love that part of him, too.
One of the most important secrets you can keep in your relationship is what you share about the two of you to others. Your guy isn’t going to like knowing you are talking about him. It is wise to share selectivity and not share anything he wouldn’t want you to tell. Most girls enjoy sharing details of their relationship. It’s just best if he isn’t around when you do.
What are your thoughts on this subject? What do you think is best kept secret in a relationship? I am anxious to read your comments!