It is very common for couples to live together these days before they get married or if they have no intention of getting married at all. Socially it is accepted much more than it was before and many couples move in together when they are ready to be more committed to one another. For some couples, it is a blissful honeymoon stage, while for others it scares the socks and pants off them. Are you ready? Each couple is different, but here are some key signs you should move in together.
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1. Can You Fight?
Fighting is a natural, healthy aspect that every couple faces at times in their relationship. If you are fighting every day, getting on each other’s nerves constantly and bickering like adolescents, you may want to take a step back here. But if you can get through conflict, manage it, work through it respectfully and not go to sleep wishing that you could take some things back, you may have found the recipe to fight fair and you may be ready to make the next move.
2. Are You Substituting for Marriage?
Is the deal that you move in together one or the other party’s olive branch to a compromise instead of getting married? Woah! How is that fair exactly? Be careful here that you don’t lose sight of what you really want long term, for what you think you want right now. Moving in together must be a step towards something that you both agree on. If you are settling, you may want to stick around where you are and not go anywhere for now. If you really want to get married and your partner doesn’t, sorry, news flash, moving in together is not going to change that.
Frequently asked questions
3. Have You Defined Your Relationship?
Are you being introduced as your partner’s girlfriend or do you lie awake wondering where you fit in? This one is super important before you shack up. Having sex on tap does not a commitment make. Make sure, one way or another, that you are both on the same see-saw. Who are you as a couple? It may sound like an odd one to include but far too many people are in limbo and even though the sex is great, you are both super comfortable with each other, you still don’t have any definition of who you are as a couple. Time to lay those cards on the table.
4. Have You Been Dating for More than a Year?
If you haven’t, you might want to wait before moving in together as the I-want-you-on-the-kitchen-table-now phase is only lust and lust does not a relationship make. After the first year, you will have had a good old fashioned squabble or two, met each other’s friends and maybe family as well, and perhaps even been away on holiday together. You will have had a good chance to suss out whether you could live with your lover full time or feel like you would rather hang out where you are instead.
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