First of all, let's make it clear that affairs are a two way street. However, it's usually the mistress that catches the most flack in the situation. So, for the sake of placing the blame on her, let's look at what you'll face if you decide to be a married man's "side chick", "other woman," "fling," or whatever you want to call her. Here are the harsh realities of being the other woman.
Here's one of the worst realities of being the other woman. He will NOT leave his wife for you. It should be obvious. You are dating a married man, but if you think he will be yours one day, honey child, think again... Some men do leave their wives to be with their mistresses. Why?? The fantasy. Does it ever end well? Will you have a happily ever after??? Maybe-maybe not. This isn't the land of rainbows that fart candy and flying unicorns. This is the real world where your shit stinks and everyone can smell it. Get it?? He probably won't leave his wife, but if he does, he'll likely lose interest in you pretty quickly afterward.
That's why he hasn't left his wife and is not planning on leaving her. He gets to screw you with ZERO commitment and then gets to go home to his family while you sit around and wait for his next call for sex... that's right, you're nothing but a living sex doll. The douche bag has everything he ever wanted. A housewife and a whore!
So... keeping you a DEEP dark secret is in his best interest. You're not worth him risking and losing EVERYTHING. Lawyers, fees, that pesky financial burden that will follow him to the end of his days. He would have to downsize to a cardboard box outside on the sidewalk because his wife took him to the cleaners...unless of course, you'd take him back. You're not worth the hassle, if he can fit you in great, if not, find another hobby because waiting to spread your legs for a married man can become quite taxing I'm sure.
You're not worth it. Give him an ultimatum. Tell him you love him and are tired of being his side piece and want him to tell his wife about the two of you. If he laughs, you know EXACTLY where you stand.
All you're doing is wasting your time and your life on someone who doesn't care about you and only cares about what you have to offer. You're missing out on life and possibly a man who is unattached that could be YOURS, instead you're chasing a phantom. Ask yourself this: are you dating married men because you know it will never go anywhere? Or do you just love the chase and trying to bag a man that will never be yours? Maybe it's the drama that you can cause. Or you're just plain cruel. Either way, get some damned help, get your own man, and some self-esteem.
Because that's exactly what you are doing.
You choose to be called a whore, slut, home-wrecker, and "other". You ARE not woman enough to go out and find your own love interest. If a "smile" and a "hello" from a married man makes your knees quake, you have a problem. If you see a ring on the MARRIED man's finger and refuse to walk away, then you must be prepared of what will be said or done to you as a result.
Unfortunately, many children are NOT resilient, in fact many children are sponges and soak everything in. They see ALL! And please believe, they WILL rebel. You're nothing to them and will never be anything to them. You will always be the skank that destroyed and dismantled their lives without a care in the world. Don't expect warm hugs and kisses from them.
EVERYTHING that happens is a direct consequence to what you and the man have done, whether you admit it or not.
If you do "win" your "prize" remember, you are BOTH cheaters and your foundation is already shaken and built from sand. What happens to sand?.Picture a sand castle crumbling. That's your new relationship and "reality." You now have a "prize" who left his family for you. Feel good?? You shouldn't.
He will realize that he actually has to put in the work to make the new "relationship" work and that's not what he wants.
YOU get to feel insecure and always wonder where he is and what he is doing. Remember how his wife felt? Yes, you will FEEL EXACTLY how she felt. He gets a new hair cut, new wardrobe, has to work "late?" All the things he did to his wife in order to be with you? He's using the same excuses and probably doing the same thing to you.
You're not welcome. WHY?? Conflict of interest. Your new "prize" will have to keep having to choose between you and his family. He WILL resent you for this. And you trying to insert yourself into a family that wants nothing to do with you is a big no-no. Know your place! That means, stay HOME! Or better yet, find your self respect, acknowledge what you've done , take responsibility for your part and move on.
Wear your scarlet letter somewhere else. You may try to hold your head high but you and your "prize" will fight more and more often until that pesky bubble bursts and he's now someone you don't recognize.
But again, put yourself in the shoes of the wife you took him away from. He will cheat on you. Guaranteed. Now, you feel that pain? That gut wrenching pain that makes you crawl in a ball in a corner and makes you cry for hours and hours? You feel that hyper vigilance and the need for answers? Always asking the same questions over and over again? The guilt and shame on top of your already abhorrent actions against another woman and her children? That pain is devastating and you know what's worse? You probably won't find sympathy anywhere.
No one will care about your apologies or your "willingness" to change. Too little too late.
You destroyed another woman and her children because you wanted her husband. You humiliated her and taunted her. You got him, but got burned. Live with your pain and know what the woman you destroyed went through.
You made a mess even bigger than you ever thought you'd ever make, on purpose. Live with the consequences of your actions. You got EXACTLY what you wanted.