When you find yourself suddenly single after being half of a couple, it's a little disconcerting. You might be heartbroken, especially if you were really into your partner or the breakup wasn't your idea. You might be relieved, especially if you initiated the split. Maybe the breakup was even amicable. All of that is just a bit irrelevant, however, because there's still a disconnect when you break up with someone and find that you're a single lady once again. Instead of feeling totally at odds with yourself, here are a few things you ought to do – just for you.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Get Your Flirt on
Seriously. Detonate that charm bomb. You don't have to go home with anyone, but some casual flirting can boost your confidence.
***
Let out that inner spark that perhaps got a bit dimmed in your last relationship. Exchange that playful banter with the barista, flash a coy smile to the stranger at the gym, or even compliment someone's outfit. This isn't about finding a new beau; it's about reminding yourself that you've got an irresistible vibe that can light up a room. Plus, a little harmless banter is like exercising your charisma muscles – they'll only get stronger with use. Go ahead, make someone's day and yours along with it!
2. Hook up with Your Girls
Surround yourself with your girlfriends as often as possible. They will love you, laugh with you, and let you cry as much as you need to.
***
Organize a girls' night out or even a cozy sleepover. Indulge in movies, comfort food, and maybe even a pampering spa session. These moments are invaluable. You'll feel an incredible support network and a sense of belonging that can often get lost in the shuffle of a relationship. Remember, these are the women who can offer you a fresh perspective, and who will likely have been there through thick and thin. Their company can be the perfect remedy for a bruised heart.
Frequently asked questions
3. Treat Yo' Self
Head to the spa. Get your nails done. Do something new with your hair. Treat yo' self!
***
Indulge in massage therapy or a facial to soothe your senses and give you that glow of relaxation and self-care. If the spa isn't your scene, consider a pampering session at home with luxurious bath bombs, scented candles, and your favorite playlist. Sometimes a little retail therapy can also lift your spirits—buy that dress you’ve been eyeing or those shoes that just scream your name. Remember, it's crucial to love and nurture yourself, especially during times of change. Embrace this as a golden opportunity to focus on your happiness and wellbeing.
4. Take a Vacation
You've earned it. You need some time to get in touch with yourself again.
5. Make a New Playlist
It seems like such a simple thing, but music soothes the savage beast. Fill up a new playlist with the tunes you need to hear right now, whether that consists of cheesy love ballads, breakup songs, or really angry music.
6. Sage Your Space
No lie, this helps after any negative, sad, or upsetting event.
***
Burning sage, also known as smudging, is an ancient spiritual ritual commonly used to cleanse a space of negative energy. Lighting up some sage and wafting it around your place can create a calming atmosphere and usher in a sense of clarity and peace. It's like hitting the reset button after a breakup or any emotionally charged event, allowing you to reclaim your space energetically. Plus, it's a ritual that invites you to take a moment for self-care, reminding you that your well-being is paramount. Why not give it a try? Your freshly single soul may just thank you.
7. Reclaim Your Sexuality
Get to know yourself again sexually, as well, especially if the relationship you just got out of did not include a satisfying sex life – or even if it did. Orgasms make you feel good, in the first place, and in the second, well, it's always good to check in with yourself, your needs, and your desires.
8. Remind Yourself That Sex Doesn't Always Equal Love
And love doesn't always mean sex. You may need to learn this lesson again because of your breakup itself … or you may simply need a reminder before consoling yourself with a rebound or a distraction. I get you.
***
Understanding the distinct difference between physical intimacy and emotional connection is crucial in navigating your newfound single status. A heartbreak may send you on a quest for closeness, but remember, that quick physical fix is not a band-aid for love lost. It's essential to cherish and respect both your body and heart. Give yourself time to heal, and don't rush into physical encounters mistaking them for the deep connection you might be yearning for. Take a deep breath, and recognize that true affection and love will come in time, not necessarily in tandem with sexual encounters.
9. Reclaim Your Whole Damn Bed
Take up ALL the space. Except for what you sell with the dogs or cats.
10. Recognize What a Goddess You Are
Know your worth. Find it. Search for it.
***
Cherish every inch of your soul and honor your strength. Embrace the magic that you possess and the beauty that you radiate both inside and out. You don't need anyone else to validate your exceptional existence. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that stands before you. It's not about ego; it's about self-respect. When you start treating yourself like the divine being you are, the world will follow suit. This is the moment to start a lifelong romance with yourself.
11. Learn to Rely on Yourself
Other people can hold you up – your family, your closest friends, and someday, the right person. But you are the one constant. Be there for yourself.
***
Relying on yourself is not just about being independent, but also about nurturing a relationship with your inner being. Just like you would cheer on a friend, learn to be your own cheerleader. Embrace solitude to discover your desires, to listen to your heart, and sort through the noise of others' opinions. Cultivate self-love and confidence; these will be your compass during times of loneliness. When life throws curveballs, knowing that you can count on yourself makes you undefeatable. So, invest in self-discovery: journal, meditate, and create a life that you're excited to wake up to every day.
12. Assert Yourself
But maybe … maybe don't get violent.
***
Learning to stand your ground is key when embracing the single life. It's about finding that delicate balance between being polite and being a pushover. Start small: express your opinions in conversations, and don't shy away from making decisions about what to watch or where to eat. Remember, there's a profound strength in voicing what you want and don't want. This newfound assertiveness will not only boost your confidence but will also keep you from getting lost in the shuffle of the dating world.
13. Go Day Drinking Once in a While
Let loose, is actually the point. Do something a little reckless every now and then. Indulge in your vices, if you like, just exercise moderation.
14. Date Someone Who Makes You Laugh
Even if it's just a casual date for the sole purpose of laughing until your cheeks hurt.
15. Get Yourself Some Flowers
Why wait for someone else to get them for you? Flowers are beautiful. Just looking at them will make you feel better.
16. Throw a Singles Party
Even if it's just you and your friends.
17. Find a New Hobby
For the record, yes, taking naps is a perfectly acceptable hobby.
What's the first thing you do – or used to do, as the case may be – when you get out of a relationship?
Comments
Mimi: I just got out of a relationship like this week i feel lonely at times cause we did everything together but i want to get to know me again i feel like i was losing myself any advice
Girl_of_words: Is it okay if you want to mingle again? As I've been single like for an year but now it's like I wanna date someone but can't find a right guy😒
peony: Also be honest with yourself and let him go cry if you have to set him and subconsciously make yourself believe that you would be with someone eventually. Give yourself some time out and hangout with friends as article suggested. Get to know you !!!
Mimi: @Sabine i agree with you i was losing myself and that should never happen
Sabine: A lots of these things a woman should do beeing in a relationship and she wouldn't have to be single. Sometimes we lose ourselves beeing in a relationship, we should be the queen of the world and than that man will love us even more. 💕 have a nice day ladies.
Pat: Can we take the emphasis off alcohol? I know one too many young women who have too much trouble with it.
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge