By Heather • 5 Comments
Some people don't like being in relationships. It happens to men, happens to women, happens to anybody. Maybe you're into someone who is not into relationships or maybe you feel that way yourself. Everyone's absolutely entitled to their own opinion, but the issue has a few different perspectives that are worth considering. There are things women and men who don't want a relationship need to understand, even if they don't ultimately change their minds.
Commitment doesn't equal control – at least it shouldn't, not in a healthy relationship. You're still a person, you still have autonomy, you're just including someone else in your life.
Girls do mature faster than guys, you know. As for wanting a relationship, many but not all women do seem to crave monogamy more, but there are men who want relationships, too.
You need to know the person you want to be in a relationship with – especially if you don't really want a relationship but do really care about your partner. Know them through and through. There has to be a level of trust if you're going to ever even consider this.
Men who are anti-relationship may not be opposed to having a partner, but they may be opposed to having a traditional relationship. They may prefer to have casual relationships or to stay single, or they may be open to something more serious if they meet the right person.
These men may have different reasons for not wanting a traditional relationship. For instance, some may not want to commit to one person, or they may be afraid of getting hurt if the relationship doesn't work out. Others may not want to deal with the expectations of a traditional relationship, such as having to meet up regularly or having to be available for their partner all the time.
Whatever the reason, it's important for men who are anti-relationship to be honest about their feelings with potential partners. They should be clear about their expectations and communicate openly about their needs and wants. This will help to ensure that both parties are on the same page and that no one is being misled or taken advantage of.
Seriously, it won't turn her into a clingy, possessive person or something. But that's why you need to know someone very well before you commit – no surprises.
You don't have to commit for life. A relationship isn't automatically a marriage. Sometimes things don't work out.
After all, why are you so against relationships?
The key is finding someone who can deal with your baggage, whose baggage you can deal with, and – ideally – someone whose baggage matches your baggage.
Of course, they can! Having someone in your life like that is some next level stuff.
That's the thing, though. With the right person, the fears don't matter as much.
And it's a big thing, especially if you're at all worried about having sex with just one person for the length of your relationship. You want it to be good, is the thing, so it's definitely a factor.
Commitment is deep. It doesn't have to last forever but it requires trust and honesty. You need to be so open with your partner that if you decide it's not working out, you can say so.
If someone's pressuring you, neither of you are ready. Just remember, talking about commitment is not the same as pressuring. If a girl wants to have a discussion about where you're going or what you are, that doesn't mean she's pressuring you. She's TALKING to you.
Exactly. If you want different things, she needs to know.
And you should know the other person's expectations and needs, as well. Hence the talking thing.
I know. Understatement of the year.
Opening yourself up to the possibility of emotional pain can easily stop you in your tracks. Remember, though, it's just a possibility. If you trust the person you're with, you don't need to fear this as much.
You'll know when you find it.
How do YOU feel about relationships?
Sources: marieclaire.com verilymag.com eharmony.com