Does your partner hate that you make more money than him? It may have been the case in the past that men made more than women did, but that is no longer always true. Some women earn more, and this can cause problems with their partners. Here's how you can handle your guy hating that you make more money than him …
Table of contents:
- pay more
- be proud
- encourage him to earn more
- be aware
- nothing wrong with it
- emphasise his contribution
- put up with it
1 Pay More
When you make more money than him, it's generally fair if you contribute more towards bills and nights out. A 50-50 split is reasonable when you earn similar salaries, but not if there's a marked disparity. If you earn $60k and he makes minimum wage, it's pretty unfair to expect him to pay half the bills - if you were the one to earn less, you wouldn't want to go halves on everything.
2 Be Proud
If you're on a good salary, it's because you've earned it - in more ways than one. You've worked hard and studied hard, so you deserve to have reached the stage where you're earning well. Never feel that you have to apologise for earning more than your partner. If he really can't accept that you earn more, it is he who has the problem. Be proud of your achievements.
3 Encourage Him to Earn More
He may feel that he should be earning more than he does, rather than you earning less - do you see the distinction? Perhaps he is unhappy that his lower salary means that he can't contribute as much. If so, encourage him to take steps to give his career a boost. What can he do to improve his prospects? Can he get more qualifications, or look for a new job?
4 Be Aware
When your partner earns less, he will have less spare cash for spending on luxuries and going out, so be conscious of the pressure on his wallet. If he's taking you out to celebrate your birthday, for example, choose a restaurant that's within his budget. Don't expect him to pay for an expensive dinner, theatre tickets, and a weekend away.
5 Nothing Wrong with It
It's time that we got rid of the dated idea that men should earn more, and that if they don't then they're not "proper men". Even women can behave like this. You may not notice if you're putting him down because his income isn't as high as you'd expect. Don't belittle him in any way, and point out that there's nothing wrong with you earning more/him earning less.
6 Emphasise His Contribution
There's more to a relationship than money. What does your partner contribute in other ways? Perhaps he does more childcare, is a brilliant cook, or manages money well. Or he has renovated and decorated the house. Show him that you appreciate his efforts, and that you value him for more than money.
7 Put up with It
Some guys don't have a reason for hating that you earn more. It's just expectation of how gender roles should be, or their ego. If that is the case, then they can just put up with it. Why should you be ashamed of what you've achieved? You've earned that money, and it will help secure your future. It's him that has the problem, not you.
Money causes many arguments between couples, and women earning more than a man (either in the same job, or in a couple) is often still seen as unusual. If your partner doesn't like you earning more than him, he should change his outlook. You have no need to conform to outdated stereotypes. Has money ever caused relationship problems for you?
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