Learning that your family hates your spouse is never fun news to take in. I had a boyfriend when I was younger and my parents absolutely hated him. It made the entire relationship tense. It's hard when your family hates your spouse, whether it's a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a husband, or a wife. If you are going through a similar situation and you have absolutely no idea what to do, don't worry, girls. I've got all of the top tricks on how to deal with your family hating your spouse!
1. Give It Time
Sometimes, it can just take a lot of time for your family to get used to the fact that you are with someone. If your family hates your spouse, it can be just a matter of time and them getting to know your partner before they start to like him. I'd definitely give it a few months or even a few years to see if your partner fits into your family.
2. Find out the Reasoning behind Their Hate
If you've given your family a lot of time and they still hate your spouse, it's time to find out why. There has to be some type of reason, right? Was there a falling out? Was there a fight of some sort? Did something major happen that caused your family to hate your spouse? Finding out the reason might better guide you into helping your family learn to like him!
3. Don't Tell Your Spouse
It can cause a lot of tension between your boyfriend or husband and your family if he knows that they hate him. If they treat him great to his face but talk about him behind his back, it's better he doesn't know. You can, however, stand up for your spouse when your family starts to downplay and talk trash about him.
4. Talk to Your Family
When you are dealing with your family hating your spouse, you've got to make sure that the communication is there. Talking with your family is very important, especially about this issue. Truthfully ladies, you might have to have a detailed conversation with your family about your spouse and explain why you love him and why you are with him.
5. Realize Their Side
When you talk to your family, you also have to take their side into account. You want to make sure that you understand why they might hate your partner and why they might not appreciate your relationship. It might be hard to deal with, but it could be a valid reason or it could be a complete misunderstanding concerning your relationship.
6. Explain Your Feelings to Your Family
Now that you've taken their side into account, they should take your side into account too! You want to explain exactly how you feel and let them know how their feelings can actually impact your relationship. I know these are hard conversations to have with your family, but if you want to be with your partner, you've got to have them.
7. Don't Make It Awkward
You don't want to make it awkward for your spouse or for your family, so make sure that you keep it on the lighter side. Remember, however, that you also get your point across. Your boyfriend or husband, especially if you've been together for a while, is very important and they need to understand that.
8. Ultimatum
In the end, if you do need to come up with an ultimatum, it has to be that way. Sometimes, families are stubborn and do not realize that a spouse, just because he is different, can be a good influence. It shouldn't get to this point, but sometimes you might have to choose between your boyfriend and your family.
9. Come to Terms with Their Feelings
Finally, if they are not making things awkward and uncomfortable for your partner, you might just have to come to terms with their feelings. They might not be right, but these are their feelings and you can't change them. It's hard to accept sometimes, but if you've tried everything, it might be time to come to terms.
So girls, have you ever dealt with your family hating your spouse? Did I cover all of the ways to deal with it? What other tips on your family hating your spouse do you have? Let me know, I'd love to hear your tips and stories!
Top Image Source: amanda-vaughn.com/
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why might my family hate my husband?
- There could be many reasons. Maybe they feel he's not good enough for you or they just haven't gotten to know him well. Sometimes families have high expectations or preconceived notions about who you should be with. It can be frustrating, but it's important to get to the root of their concerns.
- How can I handle family gatherings when they don't like my spouse?
- This can be super tricky. You might want to start with short visits and gradually increase the time spent together. Don’t force interactions but encourage mutual respect. Also, make sure to spend time with family without your spouse sometimes to keep those relationships strong.
- Should I confront my family about their feelings towards my spouse?
- It really depends on the situation. An open, honest conversation can sometimes clear the air, but it can also lead to more tension. Weigh the potential outcomes and consider whether a calm discussion might help everyone understand each other better.
- What can I do if my spouse feels hurt by my family's behavior?
- Support your spouse by acknowledging their feelings. Reassure them that you’re on their side and work together on ways to cope. Setting boundaries with your family may also be necessary to protect your spouse's emotions.
- Is it possible to mend the relationship between my family and my spouse?
- Yes, it’s possible! It will take time, patience, and effort from all sides. Encouraging small positive interactions and highlighting good qualities about each side to the other can slowly build bridges. Remember, it’s a process and every little step counts.