According to a 2006 study in Europe people who read fiction regularly show better social skills and empathy compared to those who don’t read much or those who read non-fiction. Something to do with reading fiction is like dating thousands of different characters. And this is corroborated by two separate studies by Raymond Mar and Keith Oakley, two Canadian professors who drew the conclusion that fiction readers are able to better stay in the moment, are more compassionate and make better lovers. If you want a good lover, forget the local bars and clubs. It’s time to hang out at the book store and library. Let’s explore more as to why.
1 They Have Self-awareness
If there is a specific reason why book lovers make better lovers it is because they have greater self-awareness. Book lovers know what they like and what they don't like. They are far better able to express their sexual and their emotional needs as a consequence. Speaking the language of love means knowing what ideas and perceptions of the world unite us rather than divide us. "Two hearts beating as one" or "two sides of the same coin" may have become clichés, but that doesn't mean they are not true. This means you can invest in a long-term relationship, because it will only grow stronger with time.
2 They Show Greater Sensitivity to Their Lover's Needs
Look out for your very own "Lady Chatterley's Lover", for he will be far more attuned to your needs than ordinary gardener or gamekeeper-Joe. We want to be loved for sure, but we also want to be understood. Book lovers will make enquiries into their lover's needs and are willing to put their lover's pleasure above their own. They know in-depth what it means to be male or female and have no issue with seeing things from a different perspective.
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3 They Can Understand Their Own and Their Lover's Emotions
Having spent a great deal of their time reading books where authors discuss the human condition in all its glory, misery and peril, book lovers can understand emotions better - their own and those of their loved ones. For them, making love is not just about the right approach, candlelit rooms and sexual technique or prowess. To a book lover it comes as no surprise that human emotions are complex, often baffling to those who feel them and those who have to deal with them. They have learned to identify with different characters, just like an actor has, simply by critical reading of books. An essential aspect of sexually fulfilling relationships is to enjoy emotional intimacy and have both partners show compassion in equal measure.
4 They Are Willing to Learn New Things Because They Are Open-minded
Generally speaking, book lovers are open to different world views, other cultures and customs. They are not worried about trying out new things, exploring new ways of pleasing their lovers in a sensuous or more acrobatic way. They are quite happy to explore unchartered sexual and emotional territory and don't need a relationship map to guide them.
5 They Don't Rush and Make Time for Their Lover
Reading means living in the moment, and book lovers can translate this approach into real life. Letting go off one's thoughts and suspending belief to enjoy a story means they can see themselves in somebody else's shoes and to become a character in the story they're reading. They will pay attention to all the senses: touch, voice, looks, taste and scent. They can envisage what their lover might like, because they have learned to "read between the lines".
6 They Value the Finer, Intellectual Things in Life
There is more to acquiring money, status and assets in life. Book lovers are open to new sensations, new perspectives, and love art, culture, books and movies included, for its own sake, not for the monetary value these things can represent. They have what our grandparents used to call "backbone": principles, substance and depth. They have experienced joy, but also suffering and loss and found comfort in books, so have greater empathy with others.
7 They Listen and Can Communicate Well
Those who love books have acquired great language skills over the years. They love to write you letters or emails that will sweep you off your feet; they can write and recite poetry that will set your heart aflutter. They are capable of deep thinking and profound theory development and as a result, they are not just better communicators, but better listeners who will sit up and take note of their lover's wishes and desires.
To quote elitedaily.com who covered this same subject, “if you date someone who reads, then you, too, will live a thousand different lives” which I think is exciting. What do you think?
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