13 Ways to Deal with Being the Other Woman ...

13 Ways to Deal with Being the Other Woman ...
By Heather • Aug 30, 2023

Being the other woman is a tough situation isn’t it? This is especially true if the guy is married and not just in a relationship. There are ways to deal with being the other woman and here, we’ll explore some of them. We’ll also talk about maybe getting yourself out of being the other woman.

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1. Face the Truth

When you’re in a situation where you are being the other woman, it can be really difficult to see the truth. Is he really going to leave his girlfriend? Is he going to stick with his wife? Why hasn’t he left his girl yet? These are all questions that you should ask yourself. In general, most guys want their cake and eat it too, that doesn’t go for every single situation and man, but in most cases, if a guy has a girlfriend and a wife, he’ll want to keep both of them.

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Acknowledge the hard truths and ask yourself the challenging questions. Oftentimes, you are led by wishful thinking and ignore the red flags waving right in front of you. It may hurt, but facing reality about his promises is crucial. Remember, actions speak louder than words. If he hasn’t made a move to change his situation by now, chances are he won’t. It's important to protect your heart and reevaluate your worth in this scenario. You deserve someone who fully commits to you, not just when it's convenient for them. Don’t put your life on hold for a maybe; value yourself enough to demand certainty and respect.

2. Develop outside Interests

Just because you are the other woman doesn’t mean you have to invest all of your time in the guy you are seeing. Develop some interests that are all your own! Do you like to paint? What about write? These are the things that you can focus on instead of who your man is with!

3. Support System

Being the other woman is not easy. It’s actually really difficult and if you’re in a situation like this, it might be key for you to get a support system. Pull together some of your friends and family. Believe me, it’ll make all of the difference if you do happen to ditch the guy.

***

Being the other woman is a difficult position to be in, and it can have long-lasting consequences if it's not handled with care. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this situation, and building a support system is key. Reach out to your close friends and family, and tell them what's going on. They'll be able to provide you with a shoulder to cry on, and offer advice and support.

It's also important to remember that you're not the one to blame. Even if you feel guilty, the blame should be placed on the person in the relationship who is cheating. Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're the one at fault.

It's also important to consider the consequences of your actions. While it may be tempting to stay in the relationship, it's important to think about the long-term consequences. If the relationship is discovered, it could have a negative impact on your reputation and your relationships with other people.

4. Therapy

Just because you are the other woman does not make you normal. There might be something in you that you need to get help with that has put you in this situation. Therapy might be a great idea in addition to your support system. That way you can figure out the underlying feelings that might have put you in this situation!

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Seeking therapy can be a transformative experience as it provides a safe space to explore those complex emotions and behaviors. A skilled therapist can help untangle your thoughts and guide you to understand the deeper issues at play. Confronting these feelings can be challenging, but the self-awareness you gain can empower you to make healthier relationship choices in the future. Remember, prioritizing your mental and emotional health is a sign of strength, not weakness. Through therapy, you are taking an important step towards personal growth and healing.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Stop Thinking in Black & White

If you are the other woman, you can’t think in blacks and whites. Everything should be in grey. You can’t think that you are the only one at fault, because he is the one cheating too. Just because you’re the other woman doesn’t make you a bad person, it is just a tough situation to be in.

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It is important to acknowledge the complexity of human emotions and relationships. Instead of condemning yourself for the role you've found yourself in, try to understand the situation in all its shades of gray. Reflect on what led you here and what it reflects about your needs and boundaries. Relationships are intricate, and while it's easy to label people and situations, such simplifications overlook the nuances of each unique circumstance. Remember, this does not define your worth or morality; it's a moment to learn from and grow.

6. Don’t Tell

Typically, when you are in this type of relationship, you can’t tell anyone, as it can all leak back to his family right? Well ladies, I say that if you are keeping your relationship a secret, you deserve better. So while it might be a first instinct not to tell, if you are really thinking about stopping the cycle, it might be time to talk to your family about your relationship!

***

Concealing a relationship can often feel like you're complicit in something that doesn't align with your values. It's emotionally draining to hide a significant part of your life from those close to you. Communication is vital, and perhaps discussing your situation with a trusted friend or a counselor could provide some clarity and support. Remember, enduring secrecy for love can be a heavy burden, and you are worthy of a relationship that you can joyfully shout about from the rooftops, not shrouded in whispers. Openness might just be the key to finding the respect and love you truly deserve.

7. Think about Ending It

This should be a constant thought of yours, to think about ending your relationship with him. You may love him, it might be difficult the first couple months, but once you realize that you are better than a secret relationship and deserve more, you’ll dwell more on ending it.

***

The end of a relationship is not easy, especially when it is a secret one. It may take time to come to the realization that one deserves better than a relationship hidden from the world. During this time, it is important to consider the consequences of ending the relationship. It is possible that the other person may not take it well, and it is important to keep in mind that the other person's feelings should be taken into account. It is also important to consider the impact that the end of the relationship may have on family and friends. It is important to be prepared for the possible reactions that may occur.

8. Understand His Partner's Position

When you are in a relationship like this, it's hard to admit that you are the other woman, but ... you are. You've got to understand his partner's position, you've got to see things from their side too. Keep that in mind if you are the other woman and how you would feel.

***

Being the other woman in a relationship is an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Not only do you have to deal with the guilt of knowing that you are in a relationship with someone who is already in a committed relationship, but you also have to deal with the potential backlash of the other person finding out. It can be a very emotionally and psychologically taxing experience, and it is important to understand the other person's position in the situation.

The other person is likely feeling betrayed and hurt by their partner's infidelity. They may feel embarrassed and angry that their partner has chosen to be with someone else. It is important to remember that they are feeling a range of emotions and it is important to be compassionate and understanding towards them.

It is also important to remember that the other person is likely feeling a range of emotions, including confusion, anger, hurt, and betrayal. It is important to be mindful of this when interacting with them and to not take any of their emotions personally.

9. Don't Settle

Settling for being the other woman is never a great option. You should be pushing it, you should be determining if you are going to stay put and let him walk all over you or if you are going to move on and find someone worth it.

***

Remember that self-worth and respect come from within. If you find yourself resigned to a role that doesn't bring you the happiness and recognition you deserve, it's time to reevaluate. Consider what you truly want and need in a relationship. Holding on to someone who cannot fully commit to you may only lead to more heartache. It's essential to make decisions that prioritize your emotional well-being and lead you towards a more fulfilling and reciprocal partnership. Life is too short to be anything but a main character in your own story.

10. Think about Your Future

How is your future going to look with this guy? You've got to consider that whenever you are in this type of situation. You never want to just stay in the now.

***

Envisioning a life with someone should bring feelings of joy and stability, not uncertainty and secrecy. It's crucial to reflect on where this relationship is going and how it fits with your life goals and values. Are you okay with potential long-term implications? If the relationship doesn't progress to something more solid, are you prepared for the emotional toll it may take? These are essential questions to ponder, as they have the power to shape not just your romantic life, but your overall happiness and peace of mind.

11. Know How It Can Effect You Emotionally

How do you think that you are going to be able to handle another relationship if you are the other woman? How do you think you are going to handle other relationships in general, even if this one doesn't work out?

***

Being the other woman often involves complex emotional dynamics. You might grapple with feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and guilt. There's the persistent question of trust – after all, if they're willing to step out on their current partner, isn't there a risk they might do the same to you? This can lay a heavy burden on your heart, potentially impacting your self-esteem and trust in future relationships. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, and consider seeking support, whether through friends, family, or professional counseling.

12. Find Yourself Someone Single

When you are the other woman, you aren't ever going to be number one girls, you aren't ever going to be the perfect person to him -- so why not find yourself someone single? Why not find yourself someone that is worth your time?

13. Does He Get Jealous?

Finally, does he seem controlling and jealous, even though you aren't at all 'his' and he is in another relationship? This is something that you've got to weigh too!

Being the other woman definitely isn’t a piece of cake or a walk in a park, it’s hard. Just remember, there are ways to deal with being the other woman. Keep your support system close, talk about ending it and definitely know that you deserve better. So ladies, have you ever been the other woman? If so, share your story!

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Angie2489

    2013-12-10T23:47:31.000Z

    Why is it that the other woman gets the blame, the man had no shame on saying he had a partner, i'm the other woman right now and it's been going on for 4 yrs he's not married but he lives with the mother of his daughter who is 10 yrs older than him. Why should i get blamed? He was the first man in my life and only man until this day. I fell in love with him after yrs of spending time with him and it wasn't because of sex, we got to know eachother personally, yea i know it's wrong but i'm not the one in a relationship with kids I'm the single one i can hook up with who ever i want, if he chose to approach me when we met that was his problem. Why should it be the other woman's fault when the man is the one looking for her, calling, texting. That means you have to check on him, that means theres a problem between you and him. Maybe he's not happy with you but is use to you and the life he has with you. Maybe he has his life set straight but just with the wrong woman...
  • Bellamami08

    2013-09-10T18:27:23.000Z

    All of you bashing out "the other woman" should just shut up. How about bashing out YOUR MAN. After all, HE is the one committed to you, not her. Just saying. And if you have ever taken your man back after he cheated, best BELIEVE he will do it again and again. Your own fault if you allow it. I'm not supporting nor defending these "other women," I'm just saying that it's not right to pin all blame on her. Blame your man for not keeping it in his pants. Sure what this "other woman" did is ignorant too but it's the GUY you need to be upset with !
  • Sara

    2013-12-15T14:25:37.000Z

    @abdz21, agree!
  • meztli

    2013-12-27T11:37:56.000Z

    I was the other woman once. For a few months with a guy I met at work. We hung out and he told me he had his girl and I told him we could be friends. Well things of course didn't stay just as friends. It wasn't that I had low self esteem or was in a bad place or anything. We just had a spark, I knew it was wrong because he was in a relationship which wasn't perfect. We really liked each others company, but I knew what we were, I kept my distance and feelings to the side. I wasn't looking for a relationship because I read the signs that he wasnt for me. He had no goals or had any real interesting things going on with him. I guess you can say we both were on the same page. Well the second month he went to jail and we wrote to each other because at the end we were actually good friends, we talked and we laughed together and had great times. He fell in love with me, but I didn't we made it very clear in the beginning that it wasn't going to end that way. He broke up with his girlfriend after he got out of jail, found himself a new girlfriend and knocked her up. I dodged a bullet there because I'm betting he would do the same to her as he did with his last girlfriend. I know a lot of people think I should be ashamed, and I was now I'm not. We are in fact human, humans make mistakes. He also made the mistake to cheat on a woman he supposedly loved. He fell in love with me and it bit him in the ass.
  • Palaroundthecorner

    2014-10-23T13:17:30.277Z

    I just want someone with me once in a while in bed.
  • Angelblue

    2017-02-28T22:31:53.676Z

    Hi, I've been in love with a married guy for a while.  My whole world came crashing down at first sight.  I knew it'd be wrong.  But, things seem to be going right between us after all the waiting about.  I knew I'd need to be patient.  However, I am my own personal and I do have my life to live.  And he knows that too.  So, unless this went far and further, he will have to accept it.  It suits me and my life, and I am smart.
  • Rebecca

    2015-01-24T10:13:26.175Z

    I'm frustrated to begin with, ITS Terrible being the other woman. I really, genuinely like this guy. When we first met, I had no idea he is married. But when I did, I told him I would leave him and he wouldn't let me. He drew a complete different picture that he wants to leave her, but now tables have turned. He doesn't love me the same anymore and now she's the one who is the main part and I'm the second woman. He says he loves me but sometimes he directly tells me that he wants to leave me because he can't do this anymore. Why now? After I've gotten so much into it. Now what about me? All he thinks is about breaking her heart and spoiling his and her life. Their's is a court marriage. I would have never got into this had I known about this fact. NOW WHAT DO I DO? I can't get out of it because I can't focus on anything. The thought of him leaving me, makes me burst out into tears. I've cried a million times thinking I can get over him that way but it doesn't seem to work out anymore. I even left my ex-boyfriend for 3 years because of him and this is what he does to me? Someone please suggest what I could do. I feel terrible each day. I'm 22 years and he's 27. Obviously he will plan to settle with her. What do I do? Broken at the moment. :'(
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