Learning how to deal with your boyfriend coming out to you as gay isn't easy, especially if you have a lot of time and energy invested into the relationship. Sometimes, when you are gay, you don't realize it in the beginning, so you date someone and even get serious with someone before you realize that it isn't the right relationship for you. This relationship issue does happen and it's serious. It's a relationship issue that you do have to deal with if it does happen to you and it has to be dealt with, with care. So girls, that is why I came up with the top 10 ways to deal with your boyfriend coming out to you.
Some guys are very easy to spot as being gay, but if they are in a relationship with you and having sex with you on a regular basis, it's hard to spot your boyfriend being gay. One of the things that you do have to watch out for is – how does he treat you after sex? How does it really feel for him? Do you feel connected to him? Do you feel closer? This is a sign.
I know it's hard when your boyfriend is coming out to you to not ask a ton of questions, especially the 'why' or 'how' type of questions, but he is probably already confused as well, so he probably won't have an answer for you. It's better all around if you avoid these types of questions girls, I know it's hard, but it's better.
Being gay isn't something that you can wake up and choose to be, it's something that is part of your chemical makeup. I'm gay and I didn't choose to like girls, but I do. It's something that is natural and something that every gay person has to fight against, so make sure that you realize that it isn't you or anything you did, it is something that they've been hiding.
When your boyfriend is coming out to you, you want to make sure that you are staying supportive of him. I know that it is difficult for you to put aside your own fears and feelings to express support to someone that might've been lying to you, but when your boyfriend comes out to you, it's a different situation.
With this tip, I'm not saying that you can't express your upset feelings to him, but there is really no sense in making him feel bad about himself or who he is. It's something that is natural and something that just happens, so that means that it might be better for you to be upset in private. It might save you both a lot of time and pain.
Even though, at first, it might not be okay, you'll get over it and he will too. Remember girls, when you have a gay boyfriend, it isn't because you are the problem or you made him gay, he was gay, he was just not realizing who he is. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, remember that.
If you suspect that your boyfriend is gay, that doesn't mean that you immediately jump on him and force him to admit it. In fact girls, you want to make sure that you leave small hints, but never, ever force it out of him or confront him about it. If you suspect heavily that your boyfriend is gay, you might just want to break up with him and give him that freedom.
Being understanding when a situation like this happens is one of the best things that you can do, especially if you do want to save the friendship. You want to let him know that you get it, that you know it isn't you, but in fact, that it was him. Just let him know that you understand, it'll make all of the difference in the world.
Never, ever reject your boyfriend when he is coming out to you. It's hard enough to come out to someone, but when you do it and they immediately reject you? It can make it that much harder to come out to the next person. It's okay to be a little upset, but try to front in the beginning and don't reject him right off the bat.
Finally girls, the last way to deal with your boyfriend coming out to you is to let him come to you. Of course, if you really think and believe he's gay, it might be worth it to end the relationship, as I said above, but let him come to you. He will, eventually, you can't hide who you are forever.
Coming out is a very personal decision and one that does take a lot of time. If you know you have a gay boyfriend, you've got to follow some of these tips and make it easier for him. Dealing with your boyfriend coming out to you is never easy, but it is something that a lot of girls go through. So, what other tips do you have on this subject? Any to share?
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