Cheating is something that is very, very hard to deal with in a relationship, but if you're looking for ways to gain your partner's trust back after you've been the one cheating, I've got some tips. You've got to really take it back to the very foundation of your relationship. Remember, typically relationships are built on trust and once that trust is broken, especially at that level, it is very, very hard to rebuild. Take a look at my top ways to gain your partner's trust back – even if you have to start over again.
1. Don't Pass the Blame
While you might be tempted to blame the girl or guy that you cheated with, one of the surefire ways to gain your partner's trust back after you've cheated is to not pass the buck. You've got to own up to what you did and you've really got to know how badly it's hurt them. You can't simply say that it was because you were too tempted because then, what will happen the next time? Just own it.
2. Acknowledge Your Mistake
Owning your mistake and understanding that cheating is a horrible thing to do is a great start – but how can your partner trust that you are never going to do it again? They can't. That's why you've got to start at the very, very bottom of the barrel. You've got to build that trust back from the bottom and get it all the way back to the top. That starts with not passing the blame – and by acknowledging that you were in the wrong.
3. Don't Force Forgiveness
Oh girls and guys, forcing anything onto your partner after you've cheated is a bad, bad idea. This is especially true when it comes to forgiving you. This is a personal choice, they have to decide a., if they can forgive you at all and b., if they can actually trust you again. Don't force the forgiveness or get mad at how long it takes them to forgive you.
4. Create an Action Plan
You've got some work to do if you were the one that cheated, which means that you've got to figure out exactly why you cheated and you've got to come up with an action plan. This means that you've got to really figure out what made you cheat. Was it your partner themselves? Was it something in the relationship that is lacking? Getting professional help might be a good idea, especially if your partner insists.
5. Don't Put Yourself in Suspicious Situations
If your partner does decide to give you a second chance, you cannot screw it up by allowing yourself to be put in sticky and suspicious situations. Working late all of the time? Call your partner from the office. Are you being texted by a random boy or girl? Give your partner the phone number. I am not saying that you need to be controlled by your partner, but they need to learn to trust you again and that's hard.
6. Learn to Understand Your Partner
Understanding exactly how your mate feels is difficult, especially if you are the cheater and you've never been cheated on. You have to give them time to get over it if they are going to get over it, and you've got to give them time to really explore how they feel. That can take a lot of time, just know that.
7. Be Sensitive to Your Partner's Feelings
Finally, you've got to be sensitive to how they are feeling. You don't ever want to force how sorry you are and how you'll never do it again – at least not before they are ready to hear it. Once they are ready to hear it, then you can start apologizing.
So girls and guys, I do not think that it is completely over after cheating, but if you are the cheater, you've got to really start from the bottom and work up. Have you ever been cheated on?