What are the ways to handle a friend wanting to date you, when you don't return their interest? It's a pretty awkward situation to be in; you probably don't want to lose the friendship, yet you don't want to give them false hope either. But you can't make yourself feel the same way. Here are some ways to handle a friend wanting to date you …
1. Don't Date out of Pity
One of the most important ways to handle a friend wanting to date you is to avoid dating them because you feel sorry for them. This won't do either of you any good; you won't enjoy the experience and they'll think you're genuinely interested in them. If you don't see them as potentially more than a friend, dating them won't change that at all.
2. Be Honest
It's hard to tell someone who's interested in you that you don't return their interest, and it's particularly hard when that someone is a friend. But honesty is definitely the best policy. There may be some awkwardness in your friendship for a while, and there is also the risk that you won't be able to stay friends. But better that than giving your friend false hope.
3. Don't Overreact
Even if you feel awkward or annoyed, try to keep your reaction moderate. It may have taken your friend a lot of courage to tell you that they'd like to date you. Don't freak out and tell them to keep away from you, or assume that you can never be friends again.
4. Avoid Too Much Intimacy
Be cautious about being too intimate with your friend. What you see as a friendly hug may be taken as a sign that you are interested. It's best to avoid being in situations that could easily become too intimate; try to avoid being alone with them if they keep pushing wanting to see more of you.
5. Give Them Space
If they can't handle your 'rejection', your friend may benefit from some time away from you. Nobody feels good about being turned down, but being turned down by someone you know well is more painful and embarrassing than being rejected by a stranger. Let them come back to the friendship when they have got over you saying no.
6. Be Sensitive
It certainly won't do any good to let your friend think you might be interested in the future if you know you won't be. But you should try to be sensitive to how your friend is feeling. Few of us can shrug off being turned down without passing through a stage of feeling down about it. Acknowledge the effort they've made, even though you don't feel the same way.
7. Don't Look for a Substitute
Don't start dating someone else to try to put your friend off. They need to understand that you don't want a relationship with them. If you start dating someone new, your friend may think that you'll be available when you split with the new guy.
It's awkward to be put in the position of having to say no, but perhaps it's better that your friend knows you're not interested in dating them, rather than keep on hoping. It's brave of them to tell you how they feel. Have you ever dated a friend, for better or worse?
Frequently Asked Questions
- How can I tell if my friend wants to be more than friends?
- Oh, it can be tricky, right? Look for signs like extra attention, flirty behavior, and wanting to spend more alone time with you. Sometimes it's the small things that give it away.
- What should I do if I'm not interested in being more than friends?
- That's totally okay! Be honest but gentle. Let them know how much you value the friendship and don't want to change it. Clear communication is key.
- How do I approach my friend if I want to be more than friends?
- Oof, that's a big step! Try to find a good moment to talk. Be honest about your feelings and be prepared for any response. It's all about being open and sincere.
- Can our friendship survive if one of us wants more but the other doesn't?
- That's a tough one and depends on both of you. Sometimes, giving it some space and time helps. If the friendship is strong, it can certainly withstand some awkwardness.
- What if things get awkward between us after the conversation?
- Awkward moments are normal. Just give it some time and try to act natural. True friendships often bounce back. Keep being yourself!