All relationships have to go through a little bit of struggle and strife every now and then, that’s just human nature, but you need to be careful about making sure that these average obstacles don’t start to turn in to something more serious, something that could be described as toxic. TV and movie dramas are filled with all different kinds of toxic relationships, so much so that you compare them to your own and think “well, we haven’t tried to frame each other for murder, so everything must be fine!”. However, the signs don’t always have to be so cinematic. Here are six ways your behaviour makes your relationship toxic.
You let your stubborn side come out too often by never accepting the blame for any part of the problems that you might be having with your partner. When it’s not your fault, then obviously this is the right path to take, but when you know that you have contributed to the negative situation and you still can’t own up to it, then you are never going to be able to move on healthily as a couple.
Something that is particularly toxic is when you blurt out and shout things that you ‘don’t mean’ during an argument, just as a way to hurt your partner’s feelings or end the argument on a crescendo. There are only so many times you can do this before your partner will do the same, and an environment where insults are flying with no concern for the other person’s feeling is super toxic.
You have a real problem with compromising. You hardly ever let your partner get their way if it doesn’t fit with your own vision. This inability to allow anyone else to make a decision or make a choice can be really harmful because your partner will start to understand that you don’t have any respect for their wants and needs, only your own.
From a more introspective point of view, your relationship can also be classed as toxic if you are wholly dependent on your partner, and have very little life outside of your life together. This means that even if things start to go pear-shaped, you will stay in the relationship because you have no other options to take.
You have a tendency to deliberately punish your partner when you don't get your way. This often comes in the form of withholding physical intimacy or giving the silent treatment. This is a form of toxic ransom.
You don’t actually hurt or hit each other, but when you get into arguments there is a tendency to revert to shoving and pushing to make a point. There is only so long before this kind of behaviour turns into more serious violence.