Neat freaks and slobs often seem to fall in love. Opposites do attract and this area is no exception. So what do you do if you find yourself in this situation? These are some tips to help with that.
1. You Need to Realize Neither of You Are Going to Change Your Natural Selves
You are who you are. You aren’t automatically going to become a different person just because you’re in a relationship. You can work on your habits, but no one goes through an immediate transformation. The same is true of your partner. It’s best to accept each other as you are rather than fight against your natural personalities. However, you can work on being the best version of yourself.
2. Have Some Separate Areas of Space in Your Home if You Live Together
I’m going to assume you’re sharing a home for the purpose of this article because that’s usually where the issues between a neat freak and a slob start showing up. Have some separate areas of space so that you have your area to be neat and he has his to be sloppy or vice versa. This can help to keep tensions down on the issue. Your closet is a good area to use this tip. Let him have his area and you have yours.
3. Choose Your Battles Wisely
When you’re living with someone who clashes with you in neatness standards, it’s important to choose your battles wisely. You don’t want to fight over everything. That isn’t healthy for your relationship. You have to decide if the issue is more important than your relationship. Because of that, it’s best to choose your battles wisely and only confront the things that really bother you.
4. Find Some Ways to Compromise
Compromise is one of the keys to a happy relationship. Give and take can help you both to find a peaceful existence. If there’s something he’s doing that bothers you, such as throwing dirty clothes on the floor at night instead of taking them to the laundry room, maybe you can find a compromise. Maybe he could pick them up when he wakes up. Another suggestion might be for him to put them in a hamper.
5. Let His Personal Areas Be His to Deal with
I’m the neater, more organized person in my relationship. One thing that’s helped me is to let my husband’s areas be his areas to deal with. For example, he has a garage. I don’t go in it and I don’t think about how it’s cluttered. It’s not my area so I don’t go there in my thoughts.
6. Don’t Get Overly Focused on the Differences You Have
Yes, you’re different. The differences in your standards of neatness are probably only the tip of the iceberg. You’re going to discover lots of differences over time. Don’t get overly focused on them or you could end up killing your relationship. Focus on the things you love about each other instead.
7. Evaluate What Matters Most to You
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Do you want to make your standard of neatness or lack thereof a big issue? You can, but it could hurt the happiness you have together. That’s never a good thing. Work together to find a standard that you can both live with.
These are some tips to help if one of you is a neat freak and the other is a slob. Did any of them offer you useful advice? I’d love to hear from you.