Losing your virginity is highly personal and, obviously, it's different for everyone. Every experience is unique, even when it's not – but there are also a few universal truths that most girls and women feel after they have sex for the first time – consensually. They're things you don't necessarily hear about, but they're nevertheless true – maybe not for everybody, and nobody experiences all of them, but you get what I mean, right? Do you recognize any of these feelings?
1 You'll Feel like Everybody Knows
Everybody. You'll feel like you have a big neon sign on your forehead and an arrow pointing at your vagina.
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2 But You'll Realize It Doesn't Matter as Much to Other People
Nobody can tell just by looking at you, and although there are some exceptions, most people wouldn't care if they did know.
3 You'll Define Your Own Virginity
How? Well, what does sex mean to you? The traditional definition of virginity is probably what pops into your head, right? The equation probably involves a penis, a vagina, and possibly a hymen, but see, that doesn't really take into consideration how guys feel. Plus, what if you're a lesbian and your first time is with another girl? What if you're a gay guy and your first time is with another boy?
4 You'll Have Some Feelings about Your Hymen
If you have a hymen, that is. It might have caused you some pain or you may not have felt anything. Either one is normal. A little blood is normal, but many women don't bleed the first time they have sex. Basically, there's no normal because just about everything's normal.
5 You Might Feel Let down
For any variety of reasons – it depends on how you viewed your virginity in the first place.
6 You Might Feel Disappointed
Especially if you didn't get off – and a lot of women don't. It is disappointing when you don't achieve an orgasm because orgasms are awesome, but sex is a learning process for all the parties involved. In time, it will get better – but don't be afraid to speak up and tell your partner what you like and what you need.
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Disappointment might stem from high expectations or movie myths surrounding the first time. Remember, intimacy is not just about the climax; it's also about the connection and exploration of each other's bodies and desires. It's perfectly normal for the first experience not to be mind-blowing, as sexual chemistry and understanding often deepen with experience. Prioritize open communication and focus on the journey together, discovering the pleasures that work for both of you. With patience and practice, the disappointment will likely turn into satisfaction.
7 It's Possible You'll Decide Sex is Nothing Special
You might even decide you hate it. That's cool. You'll try again when – and if – you're ready.
8 But You Might Be Ready Right Away
That is also beautiful.
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Every person's emotional readiness is unique, and for some, there's no uncertainty or waiting period needed. If you're fully comfortable with the idea of sex, knowledgeable about what it entails and the implications, and in a safe, consensual situation, you may find that you're completely prepared to take this step. Trust in your feelings and the connection with your partner—it's totally okay to embrace your sexuality whenever you feel the time is right for you. And remember, being ready doesn't diminish the importance or significance of the experience.
9 If You Weren't Safe, You'll Regret It
Every time. Even if you're both virgins.
10 If You Were, You'll Have Fewer Worries
Not everybody feels anxious about everything – or anything – after their first time, but if you practice safe sex, at least you won't have to worry about your health.
11 You Will Not Be an Expert
You might strut a little, though.
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You might strut a little, though. Seriously, it's a momentous occasion. That newfound confidence is glowing and palpable, but remember, becoming truly skilled at anything takes practice and time. It's a journey of exploration and learning what works best for you and your partner. Expect some fumbling and awkwardness; it's completely normal. Embrace the experience with patience, and understand that it's perfectly fine not to have all the answers right away. Celebrate the small victories and let them build your confidence, knowing that intimacy is a skill that evolves with mutual trust and communication.
12 Things May Get Awkward
You might feel awkward in general, and things with your partner can feel awkward as well. Even if your partner wasn't someone you're dating or seeing seriously, it can still feel weird.
13 You'll Also Realize That This Person is Stuck with You Forever
In memory, at least. No matter what happens, whether you look back and smile or cringe, your partner's right there.
14 But Not Your Soul or Your Heart
You don't have to be emotionally or physically bound to the person you lose your virginity with. It might happen, but it probably won't, and that's okay.
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Losing your virginity is a physical act, and while it can be special and memorable, remember that your emotions and spirit are distinctly yours. They're not something that you give away with your virginity; instead, they're aspects of who you are that grow and change with experiences. So, even if you don't feel an everlasting emotional connection with your first partner, that's perfectly normal. Your self-worth and essence remain intact and uniquely yours, no matter who you share intimate moments with.
15 Porn is Not Real Life
In no way, shape, or form. That is never more obvious than after your first time.
16 You Might Wonder if It's Always over That Quickly
If you are a guy or you're with a guy who came quickly, this is definitely a thought. The answer is no, it's not – and hey, it might not happen to you. But if it happens to anyone involved, it's okay. Don't be embarrassed.
17 You Can Define Your Own First Time, Too
Have as many as you want or need. Just as a for instance, I consider my first time with a girl entirely different from my first time with a guy – mainly because I actually got off.
