Backhanded compliments are the worst.
In every day situations, they're terribly passive aggressive, which is bad enough to deal with.
When you're flirting, however, backhanded compliments are a little insulting, not to mention manipulative.
They remind me of that whole “alpha male” tactic of acting like a jerk to make a girl yearn for your approval – but girls are guilty of giving these types of compliments, too.
Don't manipulate someone into liking you or wanting to spend time with you by halfway putting them down.
Try to avoid these mistakes, and focus on creating an authentic relationship instead.
1. It's so Cute That You do That
“It's so cute when you wear skinny jeans.” “It's so cute when you try to grow a mustache.” “It's so cute when you order an appletini.” Some backhanded compliments sound kind of like regular compliments, but at their heart they're a little demeaning.
Just as a guy shouldn't tell a girl that it's so cute when she changes her own tire, a girl shouldn't tell a guy that he's cute when he tries to dress like a hipster – or when he does anything else that he enjoys doing, really.
Unless you really mean it's cute, of course;
it's all about context and inflection.