11 Backhanded Compliments You Should Avoid when Flirting ...


Backhanded compliments are the worst.

In every day situations, they're terribly passive aggressive, which is bad enough to deal with.

When you're flirting, however, backhanded compliments are a little insulting, not to mention manipulative.

They remind me of that whole β€œalpha male” tactic of acting like a jerk to make a girl yearn for your approval – but girls are guilty of giving these types of compliments, too.

Don't manipulate someone into liking you or wanting to spend time with you by halfway putting them down.

Try to avoid these mistakes, and focus on creating an authentic relationship instead.

1. It's so Cute That You do That

β€œIt's so cute when you wear skinny jeans.” β€œIt's so cute when you try to grow a mustache.” β€œIt's so cute when you order an appletini.” Some backhanded compliments sound kind of like regular compliments, but at their heart they're a little demeaning.

Just as a guy shouldn't tell a girl that it's so cute when she changes her own tire, a girl shouldn't tell a guy that he's cute when he tries to dress like a hipster – or when he does anything else that he enjoys doing, really.

Unless you really mean it's cute, of course;

it's all about context and inflection.

2. You're so Different from My Type

While it's nice to branch out from your set type, you don't necessarily have to tell the person you're flirting or going out with.

It makes him or her know that you're dating outside your type and, depending on the way you say it, might imply that you're lowering your standards or expectations.

That's not nice.

3. You've Got an Awesome Personality

In theory, this is an awesome compliment, not a backhanded one.

In practice, it's become universally known as the compliment you give someone when you aren't physically attracted to him or her.2

Again, it all depends on context, but you'll probably knock the wind out of your flirting partner's sails if you say this.

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