I could list an infinite number of reasons to stop listening to everyone else about marriage. Have you ever noticed if you're single or dating, but not married yet, every married person becomes an expert? I know, it gets annoying sometimes. I've started giving many of these people my favorite reasons to stop listening to everyone else about marriage. At the very least, it makes me feel better.
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1. They're Not You
One of the best reasons to stop listening to everyone else about marriage is the fact they're not you. They're not in your shoes. They don't know why you're not married yet or even if you want to get married. Your situation is different from theirs. Until they're exactly like you, they don't have any room to tell you what you should and shouldn't do in regards to getting married. Friendly advice is okay when asked for. Otherwise, it's your life.
2. The Stress Isn't Worth It
If you actually listen to everyone at a family gathering tell you why you need to get married this very second, you will go crazy. You'll start doubting your entire love life. That kind of stress isn't good for anyone. After all, how are you supposed to meet mister right when you can't sleep or you're constantly stressed over some imaginary deadline thanks to all those helpful folks in your life? Quit stressing and just tune everyone out.
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3. You'll Get Too Pushy
Family and friends think they're being helpful, but sometimes they're just making you feel desperate to get married. The end result is you become so pushy to get married that you push your significant other away. Marriage is something that's between the two of you. If you truly love someone, that's all that matters. Pushing the marriage issue just because you feel pressured by others isn't going to help.
4. You're Not Ready to Marry
While your grandparents may have gotten married when they were 17, you might not be ready yet. Maybe you have college debt or haven't found a good job yet. It's okay to wait until you feel ready. It's not up to others to decide when the time is right. The timing is different for everyone. Whether you get married at 20 or 80 or not at all, it's completely up to you and your partner. Doing it before you're ready could just lead to divorce.
5. Marriage Isn't for Everyone
While many women spend their entire childhood planning out their dream wedding, some women never want to get married. They're happy to date and even settle down with someone. However, marriage itself isn't something they want. Being made to feel guilty simply because you don't want what's considered normal isn't fair. Instead, ignore everyone else. Do what makes you happy.
6. Love Takes Time
A rare few do experience love at first sight and live happily ever after. For others, it takes time to realize how much you love someone. Just because you're dating someone, it doesn't mean they're the one or that you love them enough to get married. When you let everyone else get in your head, you try to force yourself to feel what you think you should. Tune them out and let your own heart and head tell you what's right for you.
7. Their Marriages Aren't Perfect
Before you listen to their advice, take a long look at their own marriage. Odds are, it's not perfect. Many of those people have probably been divorced as well. Who are they to give you expert advice on when you should get married or what your wedding should be like? What worked for them might not work for anyone else. Before you get depressed about not being married, remember their lives aren't magically perfect by getting married.
To me, marriage is something extremely personal and not something others should try to force on you. I've seen far too many people get married quickly because of outside pressure. Personally, I say get married only when you feel it's right and ignore what everyone else says. What other reasons do you have for ignoring pushy friends and family?
Comments
Isabella: Hm i know a couple of girls (which are my boyfriend's sisters) that have wayyy different opinions about marriage than me. The youngest got married at 22 because her and her husband attend church and there was some 'prophecy' that they were supposed to. Then the older one (24) is starting to get serious about having a baby and is hoping that'll make her boyfriend think about proposing. Hmm :\ I think marriage is a super special thing and if you're really serious about it, both parties need to be on the same page, and really truly in love. I'm 24 atm and been looking at rings with my man, so sometime this year we'll be engaged!! I'm so in love :)
Kerriann: I must admit i am adoring the cover photo of this article :)
Laura: I'm in a relationship with a man who's already been married and I've always frowned upon it. I do not feel a marriage license/certificate validates your love and for some it only complicates it. There are def two sides to ever issue and this I completely understand both. One part of me hears of so many horror marriages where people stay bc they feel forced or legally obligated and this side of me doesn't want to get married bc I never want to think my s/o is with me for any other reason than they freely want to love and be w me. The opposite of that for me is a lifelong commitment isn't something someone can easily walk away from and marriage encourages that oath til death do us part. Another part of me gets terrified to be legally bonded to someone so I can't run. I am prone to running out of fear and it does give me anxiety to think of not being able to leave a situation if it got "bad." I have always been guarded so we shall see. I do think society puts too much emphasis on timelines and not enough emphasis on true happiness. Ppl obsess over what is supposed to be instead of embracing what is.
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