You don't have to have sex every single time that your boyfriend claims he's in the mood for it. There's nothing wrong with turning him down. He might be upset about it for a minute or two, but he'll eventually get over it. If he doesn't, then he's not the right one for you. Remember that these are a few perfectly acceptable reasons for turning down sex:
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1. You’re Not in the Mood
You're not going to be horny 24/7. It's impossible, so don't feel bad if you aren't in the mood at the same time as your boyfriend. You don't owe him anything. Even if you two made out a bit and you gave him blue balls, it's no big deal. If he's upset about it, then he can go into the bathroom and take care of the problem with his own two hands.
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Feeling turned off is totally natural and can happen for a myriad of reasons—fatigue, stress, or just not feeling it. Remember, intimacy is a shared experience and consent is key. If the spark isn't there, forcing it won't do either of you favors. It's crucial to communicate openly with your partner; mutual understanding can actually bring you closer. So embrace your autonomy, ladies—your desire is yours to wield, never to be coerced. Feeling frisky should be fun, not obligatory.
2. You’re Tired
You don't want to force your boyfriend to do all the work, but that's exactly what will happen if you agree to have sex with him when you're tired. You won't be getting on top, moving your hips, or enjoying yourself at all. Your boyfriend should be happy that you decided to turn down sex instead of giving him what he wanted and creating a miserable experience for the both of you.
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Feeling exhausted can strip away the joy and connection that sex is meant to foster. There's nothing wrong with wanting to conserve your energy for a time when both you and your partner can be fully present and engaged. Moreover, going through the motions just for the sake of it can lead to a lackluster encounter, which neither of you deserves. Prioritize rest, and approach intimacy when you can both give and receive pleasure enthusiastically. Your relationship will benefit from the mutual understanding and respect for each other's needs.
Frequently asked questions
3. Your Stomach Hurts
If you're feeling sick, then you shouldn't have sex. Sure, if you have cramps or a headache, then an orgasm might make the pain go away. But orgasms aren't going to do anything for your stomach. In fact, if your stomach hurts, then sex might upset it even more, because your body is going to be bouncing around.
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Listen to your gut—quite literally! If tummy troubles are at play, getting frisky is likely the last thing you want. Think about it: all that jostling and physical intensity might turn a mild stomachache into a full-blown upset. It’s like riding a rollercoaster after scarfing down a hot dog; it could spell disaster. You don’t have to push through the pain just to please someone else. Your comfort is key, so if your insides are throwing a fit, it's perfectly fine to put sex on hold. Take the time you need to feel better.
4. You’re Mad at Him
Angry sex isn't all it's cracked up to be. If you're pissed off at your partner, then you should wait until you two make up before you have sex. Sure, the sex might make you two forget that you were mad at each other, but it's not a healthy way to deal with your problems. If you don't talk things out, then none of your problems will ever be fixed.
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Communication is key in relationships, and your feelings are valid. Being mad doesn't necessarily mean you want to shut your partner out, but rather, you're seeking a resolution to the tension. It's perfectly fine to take a step back and address the issues head-on. Healthy dialogue can pave the way to a better understanding and a stronger bond. Physical intimacy is much more profound and fulfilling when both partners are on the same emotional page. Remember, making up is sweeter when you've worked through the conflict together.
5. You’re Too Stressed
Your mental state can impact the state of your vagina. If you're too stressed out, then you're never going to orgasm. You might not even get wet enough to enjoy sex. That's why you should get rid of your stress with another activity.
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Stress can act like a gigantic roadblock on your highway to pleasure. When your mind is wrapped up in a whirlwind of to-do lists and work deadlines, your body's natural response can shut down, leaving little room for sexual excitement. To combat this, consider indulging in some self-care or relaxation techniques before jumping beneath the sheets. Yoga, meditation, or even a simple bubble bath could be just the ticket to unwinding. Remember, it’s totally okay to pause and catch your breath—after all, sex should be a stress reliever, not a stress contributor.
6. You Have No Privacy
If you're in a house filled with other people, like your parents or your roommates, then you probably won't want to have sex. After all, they could hear you moaning or your bed squeaking through the walls. If the lack of privacy freaks you out, then you can tell your boyfriend to wait until everyone leaves.
7. You Don’t Feel Sexy
You shouldn't be embarrassed about your body, because you're absolutely beautiful. Of course, there will be days when you'll feel extra bloated and self-conscious. On those days, you don't have to take your clothes off if it will make you feel uncomfortable. Do whatever will make you happy in the moment.
Don't be afraid to turn your boyfriend's advances down, because he won't mind. If he does, then you're with the wrong man. What other excuses are perfectly acceptable for turning down sex?
Comments
Bekah: Thank goodness my sex life isn't like that....
Fiona: What if he calls you frigid
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