There are loads of habits that can ruin a relationship. In every relationship, there are highs and lows. Sometimes we try our hardest to make things work and sometimes we second guess staying in a relationship because we are unsure if he/she fits our idea of a complementary mate. To help you decide if your mate is that special one, here are some bad habits that can ruin a relationship.
Lying is one of the biggest habits that can ruin a relationship. Unless you are planning a surprise party for your mate and you must keep it a secret, I suggest ditching those little white lies. Becoming a habitual liar can put a damper on any relationship and once trust is destroyed, the most important part of the relationship has fizzled. Not knowing if your partner is telling you the truth will not only affect the way you feel about them, but it could also lower your self-esteem as you may question what you did to deserve being lied to. A relationship can’t succeed if insecurities and negative emotions surface each time your mate is not around. Therefore, honest and open communication is vital in making any relationship stronger.
Emotional and physical forms of inappropriate interaction with someone other than your mate is considered cheating. Although flirting might seem innocent or harmless, it’s hurtful for your significant other to hear you speak to someone else in the same way you would speak to your mate in the bedroom. Rule of thumb, if you can’t say it while your mate is around, then save the drama and don’t do it. As for physical interaction with someone other than your mate, here is another quick tip: if you can’t display the same affection with your parent(s), then you shouldn’t display that kind of affection to someone who isn’t your mate.
Imagine not having your bestie’s back and never being there when they needed you the most. You probably wouldn’t be considered a very good friend, or even have a best friend for that matter. So unless you are seeking a “frenemy,” be your partner’s biggest fan. Whether they’ve been given a promotion, they are graduating college or it’s their birthday, your effort and your support shows how much you care. Here are a few ways you can show your partner how much they mean to you:
- If you use social media, take the time to create a post that celebrates your partner’s recent achievement; there is no shame in bragging about someone you love.
- Surprise him/her on their birthday and for your anniversary with flowers.
- Throw a surprise party.
- Get tickets to their favorite band or play.
It is important to listen to your mate in order to know what their likes and dislikes are. Your partner wants to know that you are invested in the relationship.
Anything done in excess can become a serious problem. According to Jeffrey Dew’s paper titled "Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest," the likelihood of divorce increases by 45% if one mate feels the other spends their money foolishly. Excessive shopping and gambling is a clear indicator that your mate cannot be trusted with money. Your partner wants to know that they can have a future with you and that the both of you are working toward similar goals. Whether that may be renting your first apartment together, buying a house, preparing for the arrival of a baby or simply saving for a vacation—having no knowledge of how to handle your finances can put the burden on your partner. It’s best to go over your financial goals together and plan out the necessary steps that could help you both succeed.
Another issue that affects relationships is excessive drinking. Although partying can be fun, drinking more than you can manage could lead to reckless behavior, such as cheating and violence.
As innocent as gaming may seem, an obsession with video games can also destroy quality time in a relationship. Playing for hours may help a gamer to avoid the stresses of reality, but it could also leave your partner feeling lonely and neglected, which could result in an affair and the end of the relationship. If you find that your partner has an addiction, seeing a counselor could help.
Stop and think before you post. In our millennium where social media is the most popular way to tell the world what is going on in your life, revealing your dirty laundry online is never a solution to the problem. Let’s be honest, not everyone knows all 500 people on their friend’s list and even if they did, that doesn’t give them the right to have a say in what goes on between you and your mate. Not to mention, bad-mouthing your partner shows faults in your own character—unintentionally becoming untrustworthy. In fact, it adds fuel to the fire by giving ways for outsiders to take advantage of the situation, causing further embarrassment and gossip about your relationship.
However, there are exceptions, if you feel that you are in danger, then don’t hesitate to tell a family member, someone close to you, or call the police. Besides that—keep your relationship drama private and respectfully communicate with your partner because how you feel today might not be how you feel tomorrow.