If you're here, it's because you need to learn how to rock the walk of shame.
It was a night to remember. You and the crew were looking your best and the cocktails kept coming and the music was on point.
Then, you wake up and realize that you’re not in your bed, and you’re still wearing the same clothes from the night before… and that guy you were totally crushing on may or may not be sound asleep next to you.
Holy. $%*#, right?
Now, you have to do the walk of shame with a dizzying, disorientating hangover, all while wearing the same getup from the night before.
It sounds humiliating. But people tend to make it out to be way worse than it actually is. Even though the party is over, there’s no shame in going out in public looking like you had a good time.
Here's how to rock the walk of shame.
1. Gather Yourself
You wake and find yourself in a situation with a pending walk of shame. So, first things first. Find a bathroom, or a kitchen, and get yourself a drink of water. Whether you pour yourself a glass or gulp from a faucet, hydrate that parched mouth of yours. Then, take a deep breath and start collecting your things. This is one of the top tips for how to rock the walk of shame.
Wallet? Phone? Keys? Once you’ve found the necessities, locate your shoes (and any undergarments you may have thrown astray). Did you wear heels the night before? I don’t recommend going out in the streets barefoot, so you might have to shine it on in those heels a little longer, sister. But before you head out the door, fix yourself up. After all, why let a good outfit go to waste? Wipe away the smeared mascara from under your eyes, shake out your hair, and put on some lipstick. Because you got this!
2. Decide Where Next
You might feel inclined to go straight home so you can shower away the remnants of last night. But unless you have to be somewhere or have a pet to take care of, what’s the rush? Sure, that hot pink mini skirt and those black strap-on heels may not be totally fitting for a Saturday or Sunday morning. But who is really to judge? You had a fun night and you shouldn’t let the opinions of strangers keep you from embracing the walk of shame.
In fact, you should feel honored. Many successful, wonderful women have embarked on the same journey you’re about to take. Accept the road ahead and know you’re going to own it in style.
So, where to next?
3. Nourish & Hydrate
After partying hard, you should definitely replenish yourself with some good ol’ breakfast. The mantra of “treat yo-self” is key here - but let’s make it healthy, shall we? Head to your favorite diner and order yourself some food. Whether sunny side up or thrown together as a vegetable omelet, eggs are a serious hangover cure. They’re not only an excellent source of protein, but the cysteine in them will help to break down those toxins you gulped down the night before.
I know how enticing some buttery pancakes and bacon are after a night of drinking. But fatty, sugary foods will probably make you feel worse later on, if not right after eating them.
Think lean protein and some easy carbs, like baked potatoes or some toast. And while you’re at it, order yourself a cup of coffee or tea with honey, along with a big, fat glass of water.
4. Catch Some Vitamin D
Now that you’re replenished, where next? You might be feeling pretty lousy at this point. You may even start wondering if you have any dignity left after last night. Put all that negativity to rest - and chin up! It’s a new day, the hangover won’t last, and everybody is too wrapped up with themselves to care about your walk of shame.
All that self-worth you think went out the window last night is still all there right inside you. So, channel it by turning inward and being present. Go to a nearby park and find a quiet spot. Take off those heels, rest your feet, and sit in the sun for a while. The vitamin D from the sun will not only stimulate your immune system, which might have taken a hit from all that booze. It will also feel nice on your skin and make you feel rejuvenated all around.
Got a headache? Can’t face the sunshine quite yet? Throw on some shades (or buy a cheap pair somewhere along the way) and sit under a tree. The fresh air will do you good.
5. Call the Crew
Maybe you don’t remember all the events from last night that paved the way for your walk of shame. In these cases, it’s best to call the people you were with to recap the night and to make sure everyone got home alright.
It’s good to vent about the night before and get things off your chest. That’s what your friends are for. Ask them to meet you in the park or go to their place. Better yet, maybe they can meet you for brunch!
6. Go See a Movie
You may find yourself shuddering at the thought of socializing, let alone being seen in public. It’s okay. I’ve been there, and sometimes all you want to do after a crazy night out is watch movies in solitude.
If that sounds more up your alley, consider going to the movie theater if it’s on the way home. For one thing, you can hide in total darkness. Secondly, you can treat yourself to that movie you’ve been wanting to see.
You can relax, turn off your phone, and watch a good flick before you embark on the walk of shame. You won’t have to talk to anyone. Plus, that outfit won’t go to total waste!
7. Make Your Walk of Shame Productive
All good times come to an eventual end. You’ll probably feel pretty relieved once you get home and are able to strip off your clothes and shower away the stench of last night. But as you wrap up your walk of shame, make it easier to come back to reality by running errands along the way home.
Need groceries? Got a prescription to pick up? Want to take money out of the ATM for the week ahead? Take care of all your errands on your way home. That way, once you’re home, you can binge Netflix in your pajamas for the rest of the day.
Should anyone in public say to you, “Looks like you had a good night”, tell them this: “I did, as a matter of fact, and I’m having a pretty awesome day, too.”
Because when you rock the walk of shame, it has to be a good day.